# Chapter 14: 14
A while later, he arrived again and quickly fled after leaving a tray of steaming mushroom soup and soft bread.
Radis tore the bread with his fingertips.
"Really."
She dipped the crumbled bread into the pearl-colored soup.
“This is really…”
When he put the bread in his mouth, he could taste the soup and feel the soft texture of the bread.
"Reality."
Radis died at the age of twenty-six from miasma poisoning.
And she returned ten years ago.
It was nothing like seeing his life flash before his eyes just as he was dying: he had actually returned to live a second life at the age of sixteen.
“Second life?”
A laugh broke out on his lips.
Radis Tilrod's life was terrible.
It was like hell.
A second chance would be no different.
No matter how many times she returned, she was still Margaret and Zade's eldest daughter, Radis Tilrod.
She shook her head.
—I can't live like this again.
She no longer wanted to live a life sacrificing herself in vain just to support her parents and younger siblings.
As he slowly swallowed the breadcrumbs dipped in the mushroom soup, Radis remembered his past life.
Even after David entered the academy, Radis's life didn't change much.
Alone, she practiced the fencing techniques she had learned from her teacher in that vacant lot. The rest of the time she spent locked in her room as if she were a recluse.
Until David graduated from the academy.
Radis would later go on subjugation missions to hunt monsters in David's place so he could be officially knighted.
He had to endure it for six years, until he reached that miserable end.
Radis unconsciously groaned as the memory of his death flashed before his eyes.
-Because? Why did I come back? To get revenge?
Radis had a dry smile on his lips.
She didn't want revenge.
A few days ago, when he grabbed Margaret's wrist, Radis realized it.
"Why didn't it bother me that my mother bullied me so much? Why didn't it bother me that I had to hunt monsters instead of David? Didn't I get sick from the miasma that seeped into my body? And didn't they even try to give me proper treatment?"
Radis put down the bowl of soup and looked at the night sky.
—I felt more upset…because they didn't love me.
She wanted to be loved.
He then became convinced that he did not suffer from his illness, even though he was constantly abused.
She fought against those fearsome creatures and endured miasma poisoning.
Because he liked to see his family happy.
Because she thought she would finally be loved.
—Ha ha…
Radis laughed helplessly.
She didn't know why, but it seemed like she was born for nothing.
Since David and Jurich existed, there was no place for her.
Radis lay weakly on the edge of his bed and murmured.
—Let's give up.
She put all her efforts into trying to be loved in her previous life.
It wasn't until his tragic death that he realized it.
To her parents and younger siblings, she meant nothing.
—I need to get out of here.
He needed to get out of the Tilrods' reach.
But how?
Where would she go?
With what money?
Radis stood up and paced back and forth by the window.
The world she knew was small.
She only knew the Willingham territory, the Tilrod family's palm-sized estate, and Monsterwood.
“Monster Forest…”
When he thought about that forest, he felt nostalgic, as if he remembered his hometown.
It was strange.
That forest was a dangerous place full of monsters.
But it was the only place where he could be free in his previous life.
—There were border towns nearby.
It was not considered a safe area because the surrounding terrain was rugged and hungry monsters often appeared.
However, there were still people who lived there.
—Now that I think about it, I heard that there was a border town that made a fortune from cherry plantations...
One summer, the cherry trees were unable to bear fruit due to a disease that spread across fertile land.
However, he heard rumors that only the farms of the inhabitants of the border villages, who had been isolated, had not been damaged. Since they were the only ones who could supply cherries, prices skyrocketed.
Radis's eyes shone.
—If I invest in it…?
But his hope was short-lived.
He didn't even have enough money to buy a basket of cherries, let alone invest in an entire farm.
And money wasn't the only problem.
At that time she was only a sixteen year old girl.
They didn't even allow her to go out alone.
—Haha...
Radis lost his appetite and pushed the bowl away.
—Why did this happen? I can't believe I have to go through this life twice.
Valiz