Chapter Twenty-Five
.Chapter twenty-five.
I had no sympathy for her when she stood completely stunned by my words.
But there was no cruel joy.
Of course, I didn't even think about stopping.
If I have some restrictions and complexes now, I must do my best to get rid of them.
“But it seems she acts like this out of duty.”
She must finish what she started and she must take responsibility for her work.
Even if this is just one of the possibilities of a self that never happened and that nothing is known about.
I played my role as hostess in the social world, even though Bernard made my life like hell. I will not make fun of the two families I belong to by exposing my plight.
She looked at the woman in front of her with cold, transparent eyes.
Before my eyes, I saw Rena helplessly drifting into the light, stunned and unhappy because she couldn't handle something so big for her.
My mind was calm.
“Now it's your turn to deal with it.”
It was kind of scary when I ran and ran away. It seemed that an endless darkness had coiled itself somewhere in my head and was searching for me.
The false peace collapsed just as someone came up and touched me for a moment. I was worried as if I were living in a house built on sand.
However, I decided to face it head on, and the darkness I faced was more worth confronting than I thought. It was limitless and endlessly terrifying and it didn't drive me crazy.
I was really getting better, as opposed to how I comforted myself because I was getting better when I turned away and ran away with a lie.
It can feel tough to watch someone be unhappy. But I honestly thought so.
'It's good that you want just revenge. It was good that I wanted just revenge that wouldn't ruin my pride, my life, and my people.
I thought it was lucky that I didn't do something silly like throwing my life away to drag her to the bottom.
Even that much, my heart could have been better.
'I didn't know. The fact that I was stronger than I thought.
I thought that even if I cleaned it forever, it might not be enough. I thought I might cry forever in a mountain of trash.
Maybe that's why it was more sinister.
However, even if I didn't put my life in a hole, I decided to take revenge on myself and practice it.
Maybe I don't want to be unfair.
I didn't even know that I wanted to do everything I could, to do my best, even if I knew my injustice.
Just like when a child goes out and experiences a serious event, the parent gets angry and argues instead.
“I wonder if what I need is not cruelty but to show that I am doing my best for myself.”
I sent the tailor when the installation was finished. With this, it seemed that the preparations were over.
As a courtesy, I told her I'd done something diligent and that I'd send a maid to do my hair and makeup the day before the ball.
He added, afraid that she would refuse.
“Do not refuse it because you think it is an exaggerated service. I am sending it because I will feel embarrassed if my guardian shows that I am a servant in the palace.”
For some reason, Rena looked like she had been stabbed by a blade.
I was skeptical that she could only play Bernard's stewardess if her expression was so transparent, but in fact, it didn't matter anyway.
I smiled.
“So there's no need to worry. Sir Bernard is a man, so he won't pay attention to these things. And then. I'll see you then.”
That night I had a dream.
In my dream I was in that terrifying house.
There were mannequin-like servants and maids with black, expressionless faces walking around. At first I was afraid I wouldn't be like him, but they didn't care about me at all.
Then there I heard a scream.
“It's scary... uhhh....”
Whose cry is this? The wailing sound was somewhat familiar.
She hesitated as she followed the screams down the hall and reached a certain door.
“This is my visit...?”
Who the hell is crying in my room?.
But strangely enough, I knew who the man behind it was. I felt hesitant to open the door.
“Ugh… Damn… Uh huh…...”
After hesitating, the sound of crying came out as if urging me to finally open the door.
Then she raised her head crying.
Violet's eyes were covered with tears, and pale hair covered her face. A face I always saw in the mirror. It was me.
“Is it me?”
I was left in the room crying.
Before surprise and fear why? I was in tears.
When I tried to escape, I was still there, part of me.
“I must have left you and tried to escape.”
I must have left you in this house to escape because those times were painful, and I tried to close this house full of nightmares.
That's why you were abandoned even by me, locked in this house, and I was crying here all the time.
'How painful was it? How painful it is, how upset I am, I didn't even know me, even I abandoned me.
He was pitiful and pitiful, and tears welled up in my eyes.
Her pride was so strong that she could not even break it, and the woman, grown boney with resentment and suffering, was alive with only her eyes clearly visible on her dead face.
When I met her eyes, I felt my heart beating. I could see how painful it was. I know how painful it is.
You are still in severe pain. It can't be the past I must have turned a blind eye to you.
My legs were shaking.
I just remember. That stupid Carmela, who held back her tears with all her might.
The poor, miserable, dilapidated woman, with nothing left of her but pride and evil.
My foolish and pathetic past, where I couldn't recognize my first mistake as a mistake, so I kept walking in the mud.
'Correct. You didn't try to fall. I stuck it out. I kept trying to stand upright.
Every time I came forward to hug her, tears would stream from my eyes and screams would rise from my throat.
Swallowing the sound of trembling sobs, I approached her and hugged her with all my might.
Oh, how pale. How dry how shivering.
"He's fine now. I'm back. I'm here to get you out. He's fine now. It was late sorry."
The tears flowed so hard that I couldn't speak properly.
How could he be so cruel? I know how painful it is How painful it was that I forgot her? Do you think you will be able to forget?.
Then, in your arms, you embraced me from the past face to face.
He said, his voice closed from crying.
“It's too late… but even now, since you found me, I will forgive you. Thank you for what you did for me.”
I couldn't take it anymore, so I cried and cried.
When I woke up from my dream, there was a night owl howling outside and the moonlight was shining outside the window.
The pillow was wet with tears.
“Do you forgive me? Is that why you showed me this dream?”
Or are you okay now? Carmella.
However, as I held on to the blanket and cried, it was as if hot things melted inside and flowed out in tears, and the relief felt like a lie.
After crying for a long time, I fell asleep without burning Pinon medicine for the first time in a very long time.
I don't remember well, but I had a truncated dream.
It was a dream in which I placed my past wretch who was crying in my hand and looked down with warm, soft eyes.
It was probably too warm and cozy.
The party is approaching.
Maybe because of my sweet mood lately, the children's faces were happy too.
If there is such a thing as weather for your mood and body, today's weather is like the end of a long rainy season. Great feeling. With the improvement in mood, I began to look forward to other things.
As an attendee of this party, I can see the happy faces.
“There is no specific reason for my nervousness.”
Although the party is in the evening, preparations have begun since early morning.
“Miss! The water is ready.”
I answered and got up. Getting ready for the party had been a task since morning.
“Yes. I'm going to the bathroom now.”
The beginning was with a bath to cleanse the skin.
When I combined the honey and milk together, the water turned a dark color, and when I put my feet in it, I heard a whispering sound. The temperature was warm and comfortable.
Ryssdal mixed essential oils with water, releasing the strong scent of the garden's flowers. As soon as I entered the water, I felt relaxed and calm. Gradually dissolves tension from the feet to the body.
“The water temperature is really nice. Your skill gets better the higher it gets.”
Ryssdal said with a laugh.
“Thanks. Now I will extract the fragrance oil.”
As Ryssdal asks what temperature the water is, she opens a green glass bottle, pours the fragrance oil into her hands, and heats it up a little.
Then I massaged the soft, melting fragrance oil into my hair, arms, and shoulders.
Once this luxurious oil mixed with the air inside the bathroom, the air was filled with a pleasant aroma. It was a scent that made a person happy.
“Is Hannah finally back to being happy?”
When I asked her with a slight smile in my voice, Restell answered happily.
“What are you talking about? She was completely angry. When I went to help that girl, she rolled up her sleeves and said she would take care of her herself.”
Hannah has been learning how to style my hair really well lately, so Restell usually helps her out.
However, due to certain circumstances, Hana had to help Rena prepare for the concert.
Ryssdal has been my hair caretaker for a while, but Hannah has been learning all along.
Unfortunately, because of those lessons, she found herself forced to help Rena prepare for the ceremony instead of me.
And even just a short time ago, Hannah's happy face made her smile as she received compliments about her hairstyle.
But she completely changed when she decided to help Rena with the preparations.
I felt like I wanted to go back on my words.
“Did you bring the essential oil correctly?”
Restil had a momentary expression of anger on his face before he smiled again and responded tenderly.
“Yes...”
Then she looked at me nervously and then said in a pained voice.
“I don't know why you gave this to that girl. Anyway, it's not even suitable for her rough skin. Even cheap essential oils are too expensive for her.”
I laughed lightly and said.
“You know I'm following her now, right? It's embarrassing for me that she goes out like this and stays behind. So don't feel sorry for that extra.”