# 67
It wasn't because of thirst.
Rather, it was due to the tension that made me swallow my saliva with difficulty.
But in my mouth, dry from the heat, there was no saliva to swallow.
Only a little of the collected saliva entered my throat and caused suffocation.
"Khhh! Kkk!"
Sirius, who had been watching Dearyn kneel down and cough, began to pat her back slowly.
Although wiping the back while coughing is not beneficial,
But surprisingly, the cough gradually began to stop.
My heart, which had been beating rapidly due to shock, also began to calm down.
I don't know if the shaking would stop if he was caught off guard, but even the shaking stopped.
“If you stay like this, you'll get better.”
Sirius hugged Dearyn tighter to his chest.
Dearyn's body settled completely next to Ceres' body.
The scene that was playing out when I woke up yesterday morning was exactly the same.
Now, the situation is better than yesterday morning.
They were both dressed, so there was no emergency alarm in my mind.
Deyarin tensed her body at first, then relaxed.
Sirius's embrace was warm and comforting, just like his back.
"……naturally."
The condition seemed to be really improving.
Dearyn quietly buried her face into Sirius' chest.
Even after the coughing stopped, Sirius' hand did not stop massaging her back.
It was similar to what Dearyn was doing to calm Sirius down.
“You do what I do?”
“It makes you feel better.”
It's nice of you to pretend to help me.
Confirming that what she did was beneficial to Sirius was also good.
“The situation is constantly changing roles...”
It was common for Dearyn to be there to help Sirius, but she found herself receiving help from Sirius instead.
'It shouldn't be like this.'
Even though I was thinking about it, I couldn't push away the comfort of the embrace I felt in Sirius' arms now.
Man is truly a traitor.
Even though I feel responsible and obligated, I still enjoy what is good.
“Ah…”
Even in Sirius' arms, the frequent trembling did not stop.
And each time, Sirius hugged Dearren tightly and held on.
It's strange.
Even if the fever was something no one could help me with, Sirius's tight embrace made it a little easier to bear.
'I haven't felt this sick in a long time.'
My body is usually resistant to diseases, so I didn't get sick very often.
However, as a human being, I have been sick several times in my life.
The times I remember most clearly were when I was twelve at home, when I was twenty in the temple, and then on the front lines.
Coincidentally, when I got sick at home, it was a day when my family was away from home to attend a house party.
Originally, Dayaren was supposed to go as well.
Even without a dress, even when she was belittled, she really wanted to attend the party.
“How can patients attend a party?”
When Diaren was begging to go to the party despite her illness, she received a flat refusal.
Thinking about it now, taking a sick woman to a party would certainly be annoying to others.
But there was no one who could stay at home because of Deyaren alone.
It was not possible for the father or brother to take care of the patient.
The mother was left alone, and her priority was to take care of the men at the party.
Thus, Dayarine was left alone, suffering from fever all night and in severe pain.
'I cried a lot at that time.'
It was the first time she felt pain like this, and maybe that's why she cried so much.
She didn't know why she was sad, she just kept crying.
Usually I wish I was alone, but that day I felt lonely.
'Was the next time you were sick at the temple?'
At that time, I didn't even know I should tell anyone that I was sick.
At least I told my mother that I was sick, but in the temple, everyone was strangers.
You suffered all night alone until I finally passed out.
The next day, when Darren did not appear, the late priest discovered my condition, recognized my illness, and provided the necessary medical attention, which ultimately saved my life.
“It is the duty of the priest to take good care of himself in order to spread the will of the ruler.”
This was the first time I had heard that illness could be considered a crime.
Although it was shocking, I considered that if this was the duty of a priest, then it was natural for it to be so.
Diaren, who was naive at the time, became accustomed to deep meditation and decided to try harder to avoid illness in the future.
Finally, the great illness that struck her on the front lines came.
This time it was due to extreme exhaustion.
So, I ran away and hid.
“Oh, why?” They said that it was the priest's duty to take good care of himself in order to spread the will of the ruler.
I didn't feel guilty or remorseful.
Even though people suffered because of my absence all that day, my facial expression did not change when I answered them.
‘I have taken care of myself in keeping with the ruler’s will.’
What can they say next?
That was the moment I learned that being rude can get you less trouble.
I no longer feel sad about being sick alone.
Instead, I would bother thinking, "Why would I be sick at a time like this? Why now?"
‘……But that’s good.’
I didn't know how important it was to take care when I was sick, because I had never been exposed to it before.
But when I received care, it felt pleasant.
It was wonderful to be surrounded by arms that were like ropes keeping my tired soul from running away.
The feeling was more secure than cramped.
'I feel good too.'
‘……This is not good.’
Sirius shouldn't love me too much.
Chicks that hatch from eggs do not stay next to their mother throughout their lives.
In the end, she has to leave and become an adult.
When Darren is no longer necessary for Sirius, he will truly become a mature person.
“When will my mission end…”
Dearyn whispered as she sighed, hugging Sirius's back.
Let's give what we can give before we part.
Staying away from emotion can be postponed until later.
When she hugged Sirius, she could feel his heartbeat.
“Knock…knock…knock…knock…”
Will Ceres' world always be full of these sounds?
The nights at the Royal Palace were not entirely quiet.
The sounds of laughter, talking, and banging of dishes reached our ears from time to time.
Maybe because I had been in quiet places for so long, the palace seemed a bit noisy.
"Sirius, do you hear all those sounds clearly? Like you hear my heart?"
"……Yes."
“Is she annoying?”
“Yes, annoying.”
“Is it because of this that you collapsed? There was more noise during the festival and yet you were fine.”
Indeed, the festival was noisier.
At that time, the loud voices of people, overlapping musical instruments, the sounds of movement, and transport vehicles filled the alleys in the evening like the smell of food.
Now, it seems distant and pale in comparison.
“……I don’t know. Just…….”
"only?"
"……Yes."
Suddenly, Sirius shrank and began to tremble.
His heart, which had been calm, began to speed up.
Perhaps a certain thought had stirred something within him.
“No, it's okay. Don't think about it. It's okay.”
"Yes……."
“It's okay, Sirius. Don't think about it, instead, listen.”
Dearyn shook Sirius's shoulder anxiously.
Sirius' sweat trickled down his forehead.
Between the falling drops of sweat, Sirius opened his eyes slowly and inconspicuously.
“…De…Dyaren…”
“Ah, I'm here.”
To reassure him of her presence, Dearyn pressed her body to Sirius' chest.
The sound of her heart was moving from chest to chest.
Dayaren's heart also raced due to stress.
Dearyn closed her mouth and continued to listen silently to the sounds of her and Sirius' hearts.
The sounds of the two hearts that were randomly overlapping gradually became harmonious.
It's amazing.
When two hearts listen to each other, they harmonize in a strange way.
The sounds of the two hearts, tense at first, began to unite, and then slowed down together.
Dearyn opened her eyes, which had been closed due to concentration, and looked at Sirius.
Sirius was staring at Dearen intently.
Even the sweat on his forehead had dried now.
"Are you well?"
"Yes."
Dearyn smiled weakly and slowly lowered her head.
Sirius's thick arm was more comfortable than a pillow.
Dearyn was quietly listening to the sound of his heart being transmitted through his arm.
“The voice of the heart.”
"Listen."
“What else do you hear?”
Sirius looked out the window, as if he were listening intently.
Dayarin was amazed as she watched this.
Sirius has clearly become less sensitive than he was to begin with.
The difference between being sensitive to sounds he didn't want to hear and now being able to focus only on the sounds he did want to hear was huge.
The first is the curse, the second is the talent.
“The sound of glass colliding.”
“It looks like they're making a toast.”
“The sound of a coin falling.”
“It looks like they are playing a bet.”
There was a saying that the Royal Palace is a party every day.
Whether day or night, people gather everywhere to celebrate and drink.
For the poor nobles, this was a world of dreams and fantasy.
“That's right, I spent a lot of money, so I should make good use of it.”
But now that I entered this world, only cold feelings came to my mind.
The goal is not only to curry favor with the royal family, but it is also necessary to build strong relationships between them to justify the high cost of accommodation.
Enjoying life does not last long.
In addition, even entertainment done with intention is no different from work.
Building relationships or ingratiation requires a large expenditure of mental energy.
“Is living this way a good thing?...Wait.”
While Deyarin was thinking about the lives of others inside her, she suddenly realized something.
“Wait, this isn't other people's lives...”
Now, it was Sirius' life to live.
Despite his large size, Sirius, who looked like a small puppy with soft fur, was going to live and grow in this place his whole life.
Sirius only knew how to use his body, and had no mental training.
Sirius, who looked almost like a white puppy, would be tortured as soon as he stepped in there, leaving nothing but torn bones.
Dyaren imagined Sirius getting hurt, and she shivered, not because of the cold, but for other reasons.
“No! How could I allow this! How could I let someone else deal with someone I raised!”
Only I can raise my little one.
I can't bear to see someone else hurt my baby.
Anger sparkled in Deyarin's eyes.
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