# 82
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Grace sat by the crackling fireplace, gazing at the piled snow glowing bluish. Nevertheless, her soul still wandered the black corridor where snow was scattering.
A clumsy snowman, an uncharacteristic joke, … black eyes quietly meeting.
I have no way to protect you.
It's really strange.
Had I ever wished for protection? Since choosing to walk this path, I have cast aside the illusion of a safe cradle and the weakness of wanting to be protected.
I should have told you that you didn't need to protect me, and that I wasn't someone who needed to be protected by you, but strangely, my throat tightened. The sound of falling snow, which had felt like white noise, faded into the distance, and in that moment, all my senses sharpened acutely and poured helplessly toward the man in front of me.
Marry me.
Cold sweat trickled down my back.
no.
Before I could even think about what wasn't working, Ares's next words were heard.
It won't get in your way of getting Taylor back. It's a marriage that's going to be nullified anyway.
At those words, it felt as if cold blood was flowing through my arteries and spreading throughout my body. I felt somewhat cold, yet at the same time, I felt relieved. As the coldness spread, my heart, which had been pounding strangely, quieted down, and the surrounding noise could be heard again.
Grace looked up at the dark sky and deliberately pictured the vast golden fields. The fragrant scent of wheat, the wide wheat fields swaying back and forth in the blowing wind.
I see.
There was no reply to the calm words of agreement.
He simply smiled handsomely with his eyes covered. Strangely, however, she herself could not even manage a habitual smile.
As the sharp, delicate laughter shook somewhere inside her again, Grace closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Thoughts and emotions are like flowing water; if left alone, they flow away. What remains in the wake of the water is merely a result that takes shape, like sediment; therefore, do not try to confine any emotion or thought, but let them flow.
Recalling the maxims left behind by great men, she let her rambling, chaotic thoughts flow away again and again. To do so, Grace had no choice but to gaze deep within herself.
Like a deep sea devoid of even the flow of waves, her inner self came to a standstill, even if only for a moment. In a place devoid of thought or emotion, simply feeling her existence brought a sense of peace after a long while. In this selfless tranquility, Grace's soul retreated even deeper into herself.
After venturing deep into my lightless inner self for a long time, as if swimming in an endless sea, I reached a door. It was a damp door that seemed to emit the distinctive musty smell and fishy odor characteristic of the underground. It was the door to the solitary confinement cell in the basement of the Duke of Richmond Castle. Just as a surge of revulsion made me step back, a very low and gentle voice flowed from beyond the door.
Here it is.
I climbed over the low wall before tears could even well up. The moment a tear plopped down my chin, a memory that had drifted deep into the unconscious surfaced.
The solitary cell in the basement of the Duke of Richmond's castle was unbearably cold. As I curled up and shivered, a large, warm figure wrapped his arms around my back. When I instinctively burrowed into his embrace, he paused for a moment, then took off his coat and wrapped it around my front.
Ares.
Sometimes with a fading voice, sometimes with a voice mixed with tears, I called out to him hundreds of times. To that endless calling,
It's here.
He answered endlessly.
I'm by your side, Grace.
It felt as if the ocean had gathered in my chest.
Here it is. It is next to you.
I felt like I just wanted to sit down and cry endlessly, no matter what those words were.
I have lived feeling as though I were making my way alone along a pitch-black mountain path with neither starlight nor moonlight. Whenever the fear of getting lost, or the fear that a cliff might lie beyond this darkness, welled up inside me, I pushed myself relentlessly.
Get your act together and wake up.
As with all dreams, Grace woke up at some point. She had closed her eyes for only a moment, yet the day was dawning. The outlines of objects were blurry in the dim light of dawn. Then, as a few rays of golden sunlight mingled, the world regained its true colors and became clearly visible.
Tears welled up in Grace's eyes as she stared blankly at the process of dawn turning into morning, and they streamed down. She quickly wiped her face, only to find it completely soaked with tears.
As the sobs that had not yet dried threatened to spill out again, Grace clenched her teeth tightly and covered her mouth with her hand. She had a hunch that if this dam burst, something she could not handle would pour out.
I stared at the ceiling with my eyes wide open, holding my breath as if gasping for air. As the tears that were about to flow failed to cross the wall and seeped in instead, the emotions that were threatening to spiral out of control subsided, just as they always had.
As sunlight shone into the green eyes that had been gently rubbed and soaked, the eyes hardened like a wound turning into a scab.
Grace exhaled the aftershocks of her crying mixed with her breath, then whipped herself once again.
You must not waver.
Get a grip.
Then, after completely wiping away the traces of crying, she called Jessie to change her clothes. Just as she was dressed in the green velvet dress brought by Eliza's maids and had almost finished styling her hair, Ares arrived as promised.
As I stepped out the door, he was waiting for me in a neat suit. Grace smiled faintly and offered a light greeting.
Good morning, Your Excellency.
“What happened?”
As she paused, Ares, who had been leaning diagonally against the windowsill, stood up and approached. Grace quickly put on a bewildered expression.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s wrong’?”
"You cried."
“…….”
As Jessie looked at her face in surprise, Grace shook her head at her.
"no."
“…….”
"Did you see me crying? I don't cry."
“…….”
Grace looked up at Ares and smiled sweetly.
You're mistaken. Me crying?
Ares still looked suspicious, but he seemed to have nothing particular to say to someone who denied it. In the end, giving up on asking, he silently folded his right arm and extended it. Grace lightly took his arm, and the two walked side by side down the hallway bathed in the quiet morning sunlight.
Did you hear from Sir Joseph?
"of course."
"thank god."
“But when you were looking at the documents, how many questions did the bureaucrats ask?”
“Well, I don’t know. Why?”
“He kept lifting his head up like a child being given candy, making quite a fuss. He looked like he was dying to ask you to call him.”
Grace let out a small laugh at the scathing criticism.
Then why didn't you call?
“If you put up with things like that, they’ll get spoiled. They were completely fixed in an hour. Now nobody asks.”
Grace glanced at the jaw as sharp as a blade and spoke in a tone that suggested she understood.
"Wouldn't it be that I can't ask?"
"They say you can't cross a mountain on someone's back."
"Isn't asking a question no different from being carried?"
“It’s exactly the same. What’s different? And bureaucrats aren’t asking because they really don’t know.”
Ares glanced at the clear green eyes and whispered softly.
It means getting off your butt before you even find the answer.
“……?”
“Finding the answer by rummaging through boring documents, or asking you, chatting a bit while I’m at it, and getting the answer in return. Which would be more comfortable and better?”
While I'm at it, I might as well chat a bit and get an answer.
There must be some who weighed the former more than the latter. No, almost certainly.
When the cunning tiger saw that Grace seemed to be swayed even slightly, he quickly asked the knight following behind.
“What do you think?”
Why ask?
The knight answered quickly and loudly.
Your Excellency, you are absolutely right!
Only an answer obtained after sufficient thought is meaningful.
“Hmm… Your Excellency, there is some truth to what you said.”
Right? Just stare like this. Those who came without even thinking properly are all bound to go back.
You glared at me.
“What do you mean? Staring?”
As Ares glanced behind him, the quick-witted knight answered loudly again.
You have such kind eyes!
Grace looked back at the article in disbelief, but was met only with the sincere expression of one who had succumbed to the logic of power.