But what about now? What he thought was affection was nothing more or less than suffocating indifference. Would Argen show the same concern if Finn were lying there instead of that man? Honestly, he didn’t know.
Finn’s gaze pierced straight through her. The piercing coldness made heat rise to his eyes instead. “Today, I planned to kill someone and frame it on Lord Argen. I intended to report that I had taken a human life under your orders.”
“Because of the Electors?”
“No. Because of you, Argen. I simply cannot understand you lately. You’re paying that human more attention than necessary, someone you’ve only known for a few months. I tried to prevent the Electors from finding fault, but don’t you see that this bastard has made everything a mess?! This isn’t the Argen I knew. That bastard is ruining you!”
The heat gathered in his eyes spilled over his cheeks with his outburst. Finn knew better than anyone that the depth of affection she gave him wasn’t profound. It was less than half of what he desired, yet he could endure it because it was Argen.
If Finn’s emotions cascaded like a waterfall, Argen’s were dewdrops on blades of grass. A single drop barely falling in the verdant dawn. Yet he knew this one drop gathered the night’s dew, carefully crafted into her entire being.
Argen wasn’t stingy with expression. It was just that what she held was smaller and fainter than others’. Others might see it as trivial, but he knew it was her best effort, her true heart.
And though Argen seemed equal to everyone, she treated Finn, Nadol, and Zephyr a little more specially within that equality. The thirst, deep as a well, could never be quenched, but this single drop was so precious and dear that it allowed him to endure. But now it was different.
The attention that had barely trickled to others in mere drops was now pouring entirely onto Valen. And Valen, unable to fully absorb it even with his whole being, simply let it flow away.
Ugly inferiority and rage tangled together, coiling in Finn’s gut.
And now, seeing Argen risk her throne to protect Valen, those ugly emotions erupted like an explosion. He had thought the wind would merely rustle the leaves and pass, but it was shaking the tree by its roots. He could no longer stand by and watch Argen, her wings broken, all because of a single human.
“I don’t understand why you’re so weak only towards that human, Argen. To my eyes, he looks no different from the thirty-seven humans who passed through the Demon Realm. They’re all worthless, greedy, black-hearted scum. Now that he’s fallen out of favour with the Electors, he has no use. Let’s just get rid of him!”
“No.”
But Argen’s answer was firm. That resoluteness, showing not a shred of hesitation, felt cruel.
“Why? Have you taken a liking to that brat?”
“……”
“What I mean is, do you like him?”
The words that had lingered on the tip of his tongue finally escaped into the world.
“I do.”
The answer he’d feared came out after all. Finn bit his lip softly, his eyes filling with pain.
Argen often faced misunderstandings due to her indifferent demeanour and cool expression, but he knew she was warmer than anyone. Knowing her true self made him happy and joyful. Rather than sharing that side with everyone and granting them an equal right to know, he wanted to keep it to himself, to cherish it alone, to possess it solely.
The selfishness endlessly blossoming within Finn’s heart was affection of a different kind. But it was affection Argen had never permitted. Silent tears split his hardened face.
If only that bastard weren’t here. If only he hadn’t shown up, I wouldn’t feel this abandoned.
He resented Argen, felt bitter towards her. The bitterness burned like a ball of fire in his throat and burst forth.
“I was looking at the sky and suddenly felt like coming here. It wasn’t because of that man, but because of you, Finn.”
“……”
His vision blurred with tears. Though the world distorted around him, Argen’s face remained clear. The indifferent face he had always seen, the one he had loved so much, was drawing closer to him.
When her cold hand touched Finn’s cheek, he unconsciously leaned his face into it. Even though Argen was harsh and unkind, he welcomed the touch of her skin. It comforted his self-esteem, which had plummeted to rock bottom.
“You’ve always been jealous since you were little.”
A gasp escaped between Finn’s teeth. It was a rhythm mirroring his heartbeat.
“I’m not saying I don’t understand your feelings. But you will be by my side for life, while No Name No.38 is someone who will return to their original place once the contract ends. I intend to give my all to No Name No.38 until then.”
The sharp edge that had been jutting out was slightly worn down by Argen’s single sentence. ‘Will stay by my side forever.’
When Finn blinked once, the ferocity diminished in his eyes, which had been filled with resentment. Yet the youthful jealousy, which could also be called fear, still fluttered as if ready to burst out at any moment.
“I… I… I still can’t accept it. He’s the human you brought to protect the Demon Realm. Why do you give him more meaning than that? What is it about that bastard that you like so much?”
“I have killed humans.”
“No way… Don’t tell me it’s for atonement for that. I’ve taken far more human lives than Lord Argen. They crossed the line first, and we were just defending our land…”
“They were civilians.”
“……”
“They held no weapons in either hand. They were humans who raised their hands toward the sky.”
Though it was her own story, Argen spoke it as if reading a fairy tale, calmly and steadily. A confession long buried flowed out dryly.
Even Finn, listening to the story, felt unreal. Wasn’t he the one who knew everything about Argen? He’d even taken the blame for Argen when she’d wet the bed as a child. He’d been certain he knew every little thing, yet now he felt like he’d been hit in the back of the head.
“You’re lying… right?”
“I once lost my memory.”
Finn’s eyes widened. Startled, he grabbed Argen’s shoulders.
“Did your memories from that time return?”
Argen nodded.
Twelve years ago. It was the anniversary of the late King and Queen’s death. As always, the Electors seized upon Argen’s lack of horns to attack her, even suggesting the royal couple’s sudden deaths might not have been accidental.Argen could only remain silent despite the torrent of insults hurled at her. The Electors power was overwhelming, and she knew provoking an emotional outburst was precisely what they wanted. She had witnessed firsthand how much the Elders had suffered to enthrone Argen as Demon King. Since it wasn’t a position she had earned alone, she couldn’t simply abandon it.
But that day, it felt especially unbearable.
Once she began to dwell on it, she felt the resolve she had steadfastly maintained snap clean in two. She immediately left the late King’s resting chamber. She walked aimlessly. She wanted to flee somewhere where no one knew her.
She ascended the throne solely because of her bloodline, yet it felt as awkward and uncomfortable as if it belonged to someone else. A hornless king? Whenever they rambled on about it being a disgrace and a stain on the demon race, the Elders comforted her, telling her not to worry about it. But the truth was, they too had horns.
So even the Elders who cherished Argen so deeply couldn’t fully grasp her feelings. Even if they empathised, they couldn’t understand completely. The words of the Electors flew like blades into the unstable heart of hornless Argen.She walked aimlessly for a long time, and then walked some more.
Countless people passed by Argen, and a few spoke to her. When she came to her senses, she had already crossed the boundary. Those without horns filled the space all around her.
That day, Argen saw humans for the first time in her life. No one gave her a sideways glance, no one muttered under their breath at the sight of her head.