Chapter Thirty-Nine
.Chapter Thirty-Nine.
Since I did not know how to console her with words, I chose to just stay by her side without talking.
There was silence between us for a while, and I couldn't tell if it was long or short.
People passed around us indifferently, and carts passed without paying any attention to us.
Meanwhile, she remained steady and eventually looked at me with red eyes, seemingly overcome by her emotions.
I was thinking about what to say to her, but to my surprise she smiled brightly.
It's dangerous for her mental health, but she's not completely faking it.
Her smile was trembling: “Sorry, and thank you.”
She spoke slowly: “I would have been really scared if you hadn’t stepped in and saved the situation.”
She looked at me with soft eyes and smiled slightly: “Thanks to you, I was able to calm down. Why? You and I are very similar.. It’s strange that I feel like you are my sister.”
I didn't know what to do, so I listened to her quietly while smiling shyly.
I think there might be a good reason why she feels this way.
With these words, she dusted off her dress and took a deep breath.
“It's not a big deal, but I'm so sensitive... I'm still immature.”
Then she shook her head for a moment to come to her senses, lighten her mood, and put on a much better face.
Her face was still pale, but it seemed like she was really trying to get rid of that expression.
I finally felt it...it was her way of facing problems.
Staying away, running away, and denying it.
Even in her own problems, she put others ahead of her.
But I would never say it's because she's overly sensitive or immature.
The Count of Danube's demeanor and frightening eyes were signs that something was going to go wrong.
Even if she came forward and talked to her family about it, it would make them even more worried.
So, after a lot of thought and consideration, I finally came up with these words: “…You are neither immature nor overly sensitive…I was even afraid of him when I saw him.”
At the end of those words, I looked at her with a firm look and said, “But don’t worry… As I once told you, if you are pushed to the point of marrying him, I will definitely save you… There is at least one person who will take it upon himself to protect you.”
Diane's eyes widened in surprise at my words, and her cheeks turned red.
Then she opened and closed her mouth several times as if she was about to say something, and finally burst into laughter.
“What? The same story you told back then, if you keep saying that Carmella I will believe you!”
Her cheeks became brightly flushed like apples.
But I spoke in a firm tone: “Because it’s true... I will never let you fall into hell... I promise you my last name is Armin.”
Diane stood there for a moment as if embarrassed by those words, then she averted my eyes for a moment, put her hand to her mouth, and smiled.
Then she patted my hand and arm and said jokingly, “Do you know that I’m a little excited now? I was surprised by what you said. It seemed like you were making advances to me.”
She suddenly grabbed my hand. Her hands were so warm with joy that they felt like a light feather.
After a moment of silently holding her hand, she spoke lightly, feeling completely better: “True… A man like this can’t make me feel bad or ruin my life… I will never let that happen… Carmela will also help me if this situation happens… Right?”
She smiled so beautifully at the end of those words. Her smile was so genuine and precious.
Her trembling body had already completely calmed down.
We took a short walk around the area to clear our minds and change our mood.
Although it wasn't a big tour, I found it funny and interesting, so I walked around the shopping area a few times.
Thanks to this, the knights and maids who followed us had a very difficult time.
Finally, she said goodbye to me after talking about different things.
“Thank you for today… Carmela.”
“Well, by no means,” she asked with a little hesitation. “Anyway, you are the daughter of a duke… Is it okay for me to call you by a special pet name?”
She looked at me with slightly red cheeks.
She murmured: “Call me whatever you want, Diane.”
I was a little surprised by her unexpected question.
This was the first time I tried this because I was always called by my first name because it was difficult to have a nickname.
Then my eyes widened slightly in surprise, then I smiled brightly and nodded: “Sure. Diane...I’d be happy if you did.”
Diane was so happy as if she had won the world and screamed with red cheeks.
“See you later then… Carl!”
The way she turned and ran back to the carriage with happy steps, as if nothing bad had happened.
The lace on the hem of her skirt swirled around her feet like foam as she skipped playfully.
“What would you do if you fell?”
I scolded her for a moment, but it didn't seem that bad so I had to just laugh.
After that incident, everyday life filled my empty mind.
Something good and bad happened to her, but I stand by her side. Therefore, I felt a little happy because I was able to improve her mood.
“Maybe I can keep living this way.”
Thinking I wouldn't be obsessed with revenge anymore, I felt like I could understand the answer to the empty question of how to live.
I opened my eyes, and it was dawn.
The room was immersed in darkness without a single ray of light.
Even as I slept, I turned my head and wondered why I woke up at this hour.
The night owl shouted softly.
The wind blew outside the window, hitting the green leaves against the window.
It looked like it was raining.
“Ah. So….”
Only then did I realize why I woke up so early in the morning.
Raindrops fell through the window, leaving drop marks on the glass window.
I watched her quietly and finally admitted: “I can't sleep.”
As she tried to call Brisdell by ringing the bell, she stopped.
Even if she woke up at this hour, why would I wake up that tired little girl again so early in the morning?.
In the end, after a long thought, she lit an incense leaf and a candle.
I was just going to wait it out so I could go back to sleep.
The fire flashed as if inviting me to dance.
Its light illuminated the room like a soft moon.
As I was looking at her, I suddenly heard trees rustling and I wrapped my soft arms around myself and wrapped myself in the blanket.
“I'm here. Safe.”
I am not hurt... I am far from violence and verbal insults.
Surrounded by the people I love and the people who love me.
When I realized it again, I closed my eyes and relaxed, my skin felt numb and my heart became gently moist.
A little joy fluttered in my chest like a firefly.
Outside, the rain beat lyrically against the stained-glass window, and the candles cast soft shadows on the room as if this were the space they protected.
Months as if I was diving into warm water.
What a luxury it is to be able to wake up and enjoy my time in peace instead of crying in sadness.
"Is it okay for me to be this happy? I haven't done anything good... Is it okay to enjoy these dream things?"
While I was thinking, someone came to my mind.
Diane...just this time I got it right.
She who suddenly became my precious friend.
I woke up at dawn, lit a warm candle, lay under my new blanket, and thought about her.
It would be nice for her to know this feeling of security like I do.
I thought it would be great if Diane could live a full life like I do now, without going through hell like I did back then.
Smiley face. And red cheeks. And my feet dance like children.
A smile formed softly on my lips.
The more I looked at it, the happier I became.
“A monster like Danube should not covet it.”
When I thought about it, my thoughts naturally turned to the mining problem.
I thought it was almost like a fait accompli.
“It is now almost certain that there is a problem with the Viscount Payne mine he is going to buy.”
Without confirmation of this, any hypothesis or idea is meaningless.
However, Danube was such a cruel man that my father despised him.
If it was a large-scale fraud on a noble family, then naturally his life would be in danger the moment it was revealed.
I remembered Danube's cold, shining eyes.
“If a witness comes forward, he will try to solve the problem even if it means killing him...”
I needed a way to protect my life in case of an emergency and a way to see the mine even if access was blocked.
A safer and hidden way to unravel the mystery.
I felt like I might find the answer if I talked to Zaid.
While I was thinking about this, other concerns came to mind.
The one who brought me the silver rose.
When I thought of him, my heart fluttered softly.
It was amazing and I let out a hidden sigh: “I’ve been through so much trouble that I haven’t come to my senses yet.”
Carmella. Oh stupid.
But once his kind sparkling green eyes and soft speech came to my mind.
I remembered the hand that covered my crying eyes.
His loud voice is soft like velvet.
I'm curious. I want to meet him face to face and talk to him a little more.
I'm curious about him.
Finally I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drag me along.
You shouldn't pull me so much.
I still can't trust myself when it comes to love.
“My first love killed me... and I became very miserable after that.”
The moment I remembered that, my troubled heart became like ashes.
That's it, I also had to put up with Bernhard and Rena's marriage.
After going through that, I might actually die if I threw myself into something else that could hurt me again.
I thought about those words with a cold mind.
Now, I am no longer the person I used to be, I am no longer completely unharmed.
The personality that used to have a flexible and sound psychological health no longer exists.
I had to be careful of even the little things.
Otherwise I might collapse inside again and truly die.
I always suspect the worst, hesitate, and be cautious.
I only step on the safest ground.
Only then can I live.
When I thought about it this way, I felt a little upset.
However, that thought brought tears to my eyes even though I didn't want them to fall over things like that again.
But it's something I can't do anything about.
Don't forget to comment, stars and follow.
Enjoyable reading.