Chapter Thirteen
.Chapter thirteen.
However, one day, I became very curious.
“I brought a flower because it is beautiful and I wanted to give it to you. Will you accept?”
When I go for a walk, we seem to meet in the same place at the same time every time, as if we had already agreed on this. Then he comes and asks me about the flower like every time.
Instead of accepting the flower I was given, I asked him instead.
Maybe my facial expressions were mixed.
“Ian, do you love me?”
I expected him to be visibly startled and terrified or turn away. But instead, Ian smiled happily and nodded.
"Yes! I really love you. I love you so much. I love you so much that I feel like I think of you every day when I see a beautiful flower."
When I looked into his eyes as he looked at me frankly, I felt the emotions flowing.
"I like you. I really like you!"
There was this sparkle in his eyes, as if I was close to drowning in it. This scene was incredible enough to astonish me.
Perhaps he noticed the scene of my thinking, because he said with a smile:.
“Of course, that doesn't mean Carmella has to do anything with me. I just like to express my feelings, and if you'll feel happy about it, that'll be good. Simply, because I love you so much.”
He explained shyly, and that was very different from my appearance.
I felt a little shocked. My love was so selfish. When I fell in love, my main thought was that I wanted to own the person I loved. I thought it would come easily to me if I expressed my interest openly.
Maybe it didn't mean I didn't care about other people's feelings? Was I too selfish?.
Maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe it wasn't his fault. This was probably the initial type of fracture. It could be as simple as the first button wasn't tightened well.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh, because I made a mistake first.
Maybe I was receiving that cruelty myself now. Regardless, as for Bernhard, I can't forgive him easily, and if the opportunity arises, I can't help but want to kill him, but….
Suddenly, I felt forced to compare myself to Ian. I felt like he was like a shadow next to me, a humble attempt to respond to him and his feelings. I couldn't look into his eyes any longer.
I didn't have a choice.
I left the conversation intermittently, said good-bye to him, and then returned to the hut.
My heart was bleeding.
My mother was sitting quietly in the comfortable chair in the living room, her eyes closed.
Without realizing it, I approached my mother and asked her: “Can I ask you something?”
My mother opened her eyes and looked at me with a calm face, then replied: “Of course, Carmela.”
I hesitated a little, then asked my question: “Did you, mother, consider that I was selfish and domineering all the time?”
My mother thought for a moment and then asked a question contrary to my expectations: “Have you been being selfish until now?”
I saw her asking gently and silently, and this made me see things from a different angle.
I looked past my reproach and looked into her eyes. My mother was waiting patiently with a calm smile.
I answered hesitantly: “Maybe I was selfish for myself, just to look out for my own interests.”
“Taking care of yourself is natural,” my mother answered kindly. “It’s not selfish. But you have to appeal to your conscience, if you think your actions were not right.”
My mother continued to explain: “If you do enough to discipline yourself based on your conscience, it is not selfish. However, if you do it only for your own benefit without taking things into account, it may be selfish.”
I felt anxious in my mother's words, as if she was trying to avoid hurting me. I couldn't help but feel grateful for that care.
Finally, I understood.
I didn't think of Raina as a human being. I viewed it as an object of sorts, an obstacle that needed to disappear, like dust that needed to be banished away. Additionally, I saw Bernhardt's feelings as something to easily get over.
In a strange way, I felt tears falling.
“Mom, if I thought I was a total victim, but in reality I was part of the problem, what should I do?”
My mother pulled my hand.
“You are still young. It is normal to make mistakes and learn. All you have to do is take appropriate responsibility and not repeat the mistake.”
Although she may not be forgiving, I felt like I could find at least one reason to leave things as they were. So I held my mother's hand and we talked for a long time.
In the past few days, Barin witnessed how her brother became increasingly crazy.
He would smile all day long and when he saw flowers, he would seriously think about which flower was the most beautiful and would hold competitions for himself to choose the most beautiful flower in his heart.
But when he returns again, the flowers he admired are gone.
Barin refused violently and said in surprise: “Oh, stop! You are not allowed here!”
In return, Ian hugged Barin tenderly and said: “Thank you! Thanks to you!”
Barin then asked a question: “How do you feel about marriage?”
Barin was startled, and looked into Ian's eyes. Although he had always been somewhat abnormal, at that moment, his eyes strangely resembled melted sugar.
Barin realized that this moment was inappropriate. Although she was feeling well, she began to feel nauseous.
"Run! Hide from here!" Barin screamed as she tried to kick him. But she finally turned away and put her hand on her waist.
"Wake up, Ian. Your sister is already married! That's what he told me!"
Ian felt shocked as he looked at Barin."truly?"
Barin was surprised by Ian's voice being unusually slippery, and she didn't understand what he said. But she soon knew from Ian's look that he was angry.
In an attempt to make up for it, she told Barin out loud, "Yes, really! I asked him that when I first met him!"
Ian's eyes turned into surprised cups, the truth becoming clear to him."truly?"
There was question in Ian's voice, as he looked like he was trying to put together all the scattered pieces.
"You hear, Ian? Let me make things clear for you. Carmella has been told not to talk about her husband. The first time I asked her about her husband, she told me he hit her!"
Ian became puzzled after hearing this."actually?"
Ian suddenly became quiet, making Barin feel confused. “Yes, really! She said that when I first met her!” Barin made the final pinch for immunity and hit herself on the forehead.
She didn't have time to think, as she ran away.
At that time, Ian was deeply thinking about what he heard.
The next day, when Ian appeared smiling with his charming smile that overflowed with happiness even to those around him, she was astonished to notice that he was absent-minded.
“…I wanted to give you these flowers because they are beautiful in the garden. Will you accept them?”
Then he looked at me as if he had something else he wanted to say.
I looked at him with a surprised face, waiting to hear what he had to say.
Did something happen last night?.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but he hesitated to open his mouth and then close it. He looked nervous and confused. As I was deducing what it might be, frustration began to build and I decided to ask what was going on.
“I...do you agree to marry me?”
What?.
She felt like she was being slapped in the face and froze for a moment.
What did you hear now?.
"Will you leave your husband and marry me? I'm willing to make you happy, really, but don't think I'll ruin my life for a child that's not mine."
The painful look in his eyes pierced me deeply. He looked serious and heavy, like he wasn't the person who usually seemed cheerful and carefree.
But there is a problem.
“How can a rumor like this spread?”
While I was confused, Ian's face suddenly froze. He looked as if he was surprised, and expressed this with his astonished eyes.
His eyes shook as if they were trembling. When I started speaking in an annoyed and confused manner, Ian's face suddenly began to freeze. He looked dazed and confused.
In his eyes, the pirate seemed to shake like an earthquake.
Surprisingly, his face changed from white to dark red. This terrible change.
Then suddenly, his face turned red and blue, as if he wanted to squeeze something small until it turned into a lobe in his hands.
Somehow, I had a feeling that I knew the source of these false rumors that he so adamantly believed.
Vereen….
She touched my forehead.
“…It seems that Viren is still misinterpreting things. Even though we actually broke up after our engagement, I am not a suspect anymore. I have never had anything to do with violence before or since.”
However, if you go back to society, there may be those who will question this.
This was the decision I made.
We had fights and disagreements between us. We broke up after a fight with Lyra, and there were also problems between families. So….
I don't think I will have anything but a bad name if these rumors come back again.
“...Okay, I apologize. That was disrespectful on my part. Lin.”
I was smiling when I got on the return ride, but as soon as I was left alone, I started smiling with difficulty.
When I opened the letter later, I found Ian's emojis, making my face turn red with emotion.