# 34 -
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Inside the shaking carriage, Seret was with Yuan on their way to the train station to go to Mushili.
Because she woke up early that morning, Seret felt a little sleepy. She covered her mouth and yawned faintly, but her eyes narrowed when she noticed Yuan's gaze trained on her.
He had been staring at her for a while, as if he was watching her to understand something.
“Why do you keep looking at me? I can’t even yawn peacefully.”
Seret said wryly, frowning.
Since they got into the carriage, Yuan had been sitting in the same position, watching her silently, his eyes shining with the light of deep thought.
“I was thinking.” Yuan said as he leaned on the back of the seat.
“And you're staring at me?”
"Yes."
“What were you thinking while staring at me like that?”
She asked him in a reserved tone.
Was he thinking of what poison could kill me the quickest? She sneered to herself.
“I wanted to know if I wanted 'it'.”
“What do you mean by ‘that’?”
“The Death of Seret Enohater.”
Yuan said his sentence coldly, as if he was describing something ordinary.
Seret's body stiffened. Her thoughts froze, and she forgot to breathe.
“W-what did you say?”
She muttered under her breath, her voice trembling. How dare you talk about my death? She gripped the skirt of her dress nervously.
“I was having dreams.” He said quietly, not paying attention to her angry looks.
"Dreams? Dreams of you killing me?"
she asked in a trembling voice.
"maybe."
Yuan lowered his gaze for a moment as if recalling the scene, then raised his eyes to meet hers again.
“I used to see a dead woman in my dreams, and it happened often. Last night, I finally knew who she was.”
“She is Seret Enohater. My fiancée.”
“Your face says you wish the dream would turn into reality.”
Seret said, staring at him warily, but she couldn't read his emotions no matter how hard she tried.
What's on his mind? I asked anxiously.
He didn't answer her. They just looked at each other, watching each other silently.
How many times did you think about killing me until you saw me die in your dreams? Do you want me to die that much? Her eyes were red with anger.
“If it really happened...it would be terrible, I think.” Yuan muttered in a calm tone.
“Do you really think it would be terrible?”
She said in a sharp voice.
She wanted to scream at him: You wanted it, you did it, and this is how you died. And you still want him even now, even though you pretend otherwise.
"Yes." He answered tersely.
liar. Seret was disgusted by Yuan Freaktwister's hypocrisy.
She suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled it to her neck. He frowned at her sudden action.
"Why don't you try? Let's see if it's really such a terrible result."
“Seret.”
He said with a stiff face as he tried to withdraw his hand, but she grabbed it again and pinned it to her neck again.
“With this big hand, you can easily kill me.”
“What are you doing?” His voice rose sharply.
"You should have killed me with your own hand. Not hidden behind another hand. That would have at least shown some mercy."
She said coldly, her eyes hard as ice.
I was a coward to the end. If you had a little respect for me, I wouldn't have sent the poison with your mistress.
The hatred she thought had been extinguished flared up, and she wanted to squeeze his neck until he suffocated.
“Isn’t that vulgar story over yet?”
Yuan said sarcastically as he grabbed her wrists.
She tried to get away, but he directed her hands again to his neck.
"Why don't you kill me instead? I'll give you a chance."
He said with a crooked smile.
A chance for revenge? Well then…
She squeezed her fingers slightly around his neck.
She wanted him to taste what she had tasted—the fear, pain, and helplessness before death.
When he felt her grip, he looked into her eyes. There was no fear in his eyes, only curiosity.
His calm angered her even more. Why is he never afraid? Why does he even look so confident in a moment like this?
The two exchanged glances; A silent storm of conflicting emotions.
If I kill him now, will I be free? Will I feel happy? Will my wounds heal?
no. The past will bind her even more.
Her hands relaxed.
The man I want to kill...but I can't.
Escaping from it is the only way.
She glared at him angrily and dropped her hand from his neck. He grabbed her wrist and moved to sit next to her.
“An opportunity like this doesn't come along often.”
“Leave me.”
She said as she tried to pull her hand away from him.
“The way you look now... is the look of someone who actually wants to kill me. Well, that would be more effective than throwing a vase at me.”
He continued to provoke her until she lost her nerve, so she snatched her hand from him and grabbed his neck.
“I might really kill you right now.”
She said with eyes burning with anger. Yuan smiled lightly, and took her other hand to also place it on his neck.
“One hand is not enough. You need two to achieve the result.”
"You know what? You have to push hard enough to break bones until he stops breathing."
He said in a whisper, encircling her waist and pulling her towards him. She was confused, and her hands slipped from his neck.
He took her hand again and bit her finger gently.
“Ah…”
She gasped softly. He smiled.
“With such skinny fingers, I don’t think you can do that.”
“You're making fun of me.”
Her voice trembled with anger. The idea that her death would be made an object of ridicule was unbearable.
“Seret.” Yuan sighed her name. It looked familiar and strange at the same time.
Lately, no one has confused him as much as Syeret Enohater. A woman who was not supposed to mean anything, but she turned his life upside down.
He had to get rid of her without hesitation, and yet he couldn't.
All he wanted from his wife was to produce an heir to the Freaktwister name, nothing more.
But...it colored his life with chaos.
Does this woman have any value to me?
“You,” he said softly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“What are you worth to me?”
The blue of her eyes burned with anger, and for a moment he had the feeling of wanting to kiss her.
Those eyes full of emotion… If they looked at another man, he wouldn't be able to bear it.
At that moment, he realized that perhaps her only value was to keep those blue eyes looking at him alone.
“You're always the worst, Your Highness.”
She said bitterly.
His talk of her “worth” as if she were something to be evaluated made her angry. She tried to escape from his grip.
But Yuan pulled her into his lap and held her tightly. He wanted to keep it, no matter what its value.
A gem that he cannot hand over to anyone. He wanted those blue eyes to remain his alone.
“Leave me. I told you to leave me!”
She screamed, squirming to get free.
Then, he hid his face in her shoulder. She stopped moving, feeling his heat and his breath on her skin.
“Stay by my side, Xerite Freaktwister.”
He raised his head to look into her eyes.
Don't die. Don't go to another man. Just stay here, shining by my side.
For some reason, there was genuine sincerity in his gray eyes. He wanted her to stay.
He can't be honest...
Her gaze shook.
"Please."
He whispered to her.
“...pathetic.”
She said in a low voice without taking her eyes off him.
To Yuan, Seret Enohater was a person whose death was predestined.
And yet, even though she knew, and had lived through it, she still searched for the truth in his words—and she hated herself for her weakness.
She had not seen the sincerity in his eyes, but she wished for his presence. What a fool you are, Seret Enohater.
“Pathetic?” Yuan frowned.
“Yes. I'm really pathetic.”
Tears gathered in her eyes.
His eyebrows twitched. No one in his life had confused him like this woman did.
While he was looking at her silently, she said with calm firmness:
"I will live a long time. I will live a very happy and long life."
I'll live well, just to spite you. I will live as Seret Enohatir far away from you.
“I hope so.” Yuan said while nodding lightly.
I don't care about your happiness or misery...as long as your blue eyes only look at me.
A dark, possessive look crossed his face as he stared at her.