# 62
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“How can it be pointless to give a small gift in return when someone has taken the time and effort to prepare a gift for you?”
“It's just about giving as much as you're given.”
Ian does not lack the ability to feel emotion or affection; He simply chooses not to do so.
There is a big difference between not being able to and choosing not to.
Although his actions stem from parts of his past, it doesn't change the fact that he hurt many people, including Diana, before realizing it himf. I just wish he'd come to terms with that a little sooner.
"To be honest, I can kind of understand why you're behaving this way, Your Highness. Their Majesties the Emperor and the Princess love you more than you think."
“So, don’t try too hard to distance yourf from them.”
I glanced at the corner of the carefully placed napkin, where Ian's initials were embroidered.
“And one day, if there is someone you hurt for no reason, there will also be someone who loves you for no reason.”
A very blind person, at that.
She thought of Diana, who had looked up to him for over ten years, all because she had fallen in love with Ian at first sight.
While Ian's mother, a former concubine, hurt him for no reason, it was Diana who cared for him and cared for him for no reason.
Her very presence will be a source of healing for Ian.
'It's a shame, though, she's a lot better than him...'
After clicking my tongue in frustration, I walked out of Mrs. Zed's store.
“The decision is yours, Your Highness, but connecting with people who love you will not make the world fall apart.”
If that were the case, the world would have collapsed five hundred times by now.
As I exhaled, I pushed the glass door and walked out.
Although it was already five o'clock, the sun was still hanging in the sky.
I felt Ian follow me, one step behind me.
After a few steps, she turned around, smiling. I stood in the sunlight, while he remained in the shade cast by the trees, so I could not see his facial expression clearly.
But perhaps he had his usual indifferent, emotionless expression on his face.
"So, what I'm saying is, don't push people away without thinking. Whether it's going south or choosing a birthday gift, once you make up your mind, it won't be too difficult."
“It certainly wouldn't hurt anyone.”
Your Highness, I did my best.
If he still refuses, I think it's beyond my ability now. You must find someone else for this task.
At that moment, the tree shadow cast on Ian suddenly shook with a rustling sound.
His face, now visible, was too agitated to be described as expressionless, yet it was too calm to show any obvious emotion.
“…Your Highness?”
People are supposed to respond when they are spoken to.
“Did you hear what I said?”
At my question, Ian came back to his senses, his eyebrows frowned. This time, it seemed more like a reflexive reaction than a sign of discomfort.
“...Yes, I heard him. It's just...”
“Just?”
When I pressed him, he opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again and shook his head.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk; He simply couldn't find the words.
“It's nothing.”
Instead, he extended his hand.
“...We should get back. It's been a long walk.”
She stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, then looked at him suspiciously.
Is he trying to change the subject because he's at a disadvantage?
But despite my doubts, Ian kept his hand firmly outstretched, without any further reaction. Reluctantly, I took it.
“Yes, let's go.”
At this point, I had really done everything I could. If he insists on being stubborn… How can I explain this to the Emperor? While I was thinking about this, I failed to notice how weak Ian's grip on my hand was.
❖ ❖ ❖
A few days later, Ian sent a message to the Emperor stating that he would accompany him on the journey to the south.
I will not go into detail about how much the Emperor praised me upon receiving that letter.
In short, it was like the endearing comments made by my enthusiastic mother-in-law, such as, “Maybe I was the one who arranged this marriage, but where did a treasure like you come from?”
“Really, he's more emotional than he looks.”
Somehow, the image I had of the original story of the mysterious, kind and charismatic Emperor became increasingly blurry.
Aside from the Emperor's letter full of praise, I turned my attention back to the pile of documents on my desk.
There is still a mountain of unsigned papers.
'...It's overwhelming every time I look at it.'
With Ian's engagement confirmed, the private trip to the Imperial Villa for the Princess's birthday has been scheduled for three weeks later.
As a result, Ian and I will be away from the Grand Duchy headquarters for an entire week, which means I will have to double the work in advance.
Who said that nobles just sit around doing nothing? Managing the affairs of the palace alone is enough to make my hair fall out.
The budget proposals submitted by each department of the Grand Duke's estate in preparation for the coming summer were already piling up.
I looked at the documents helplessly, and silently reached for Eloise's secret notebook from the second drawer.
“Okay, let’s do some sneaky cheating today too.”
When I opened the impressively thick notebook, roughly the size of the palm of my hand, I was once again struck by the sight of Eloise's meticulous notes.
“Really, it was very accurate.”
She commented in amazement again.
The more I read Eloise's secret notebook, the more surprising it seems.
At first, I thought it only contained information related to managing the Duchy's funds, but upon closer inspection, I realized that it also included small tips and basic instructions for carrying out the duties of a Grand Duchess.
Sometimes, I wondered if I was really Eloise's successor.
“Let's see, which page contains the explanation of the servants' department...”
As I was flipping through the pages, glancing at several notable bookmarks from the book, my eye landed on some unfamiliar writing, causing me to pause.
"Huh? What is this?"
Unlike other elegant writing, this one was faded, with signs that someone had tried to erase it.
“What does this say...?”
It looked like Eloise's handwriting, but it was difficult to be sure.
I tried hard to read the letters.
The ink was smudged, but I could barely read a few words.
[This book, for someone…]
I continued to slowly decipher the writing, tilting my head in confusion.
“Was this a note left for someone?”
As I reached for the magnifying glass to get a better look, someone knocked on the office door.
“Ma’am, a message has arrived.”
“Yes, come in.”
After hearing Vivi's voice outside, she put down the magnifying glass and quickly closed the book.
Vivi carefully opened the door and entered with a silver tray, with a letter and a letter opener on it.
“There seems to be a lot of invitations these days.”
Ever since I was invited to the Marchioness Eckardt's tea party, I have been receiving letters from the nobles in the capital, and they often invite me to small social gatherings.
Even though I didn't attend any other events, the invitations kept coming in, which probably meant that my impression in the Arya newspaper was noteworthy, or that the ladies I met at Eckart's party were spreading positive reviews about me.
“So, where did this letter come from?”
“It's from Duke Roger.”
“Duke Roger?”
I raised an eyebrow in surprise but then opened my mouth softly as a memory surfaced.
‘Now that I think about it, when we welcomed each other to Count Olsen’s residence, he mentioned that he wanted to host me for a meal.’
I thought it was just a polite, formal remark, but he actually sent an invitation
“Give it to me.”
After receiving the tray from Vivi, she opened the envelope.
As expected, the letter mentioned how short our previous meeting had been and expressed a desire to host a lunch at the Duke's residence next Monday, if appropriate. When I read the letter to the end, I was overcome with an uneasy feeling.