# 47
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Sirtain suddenly released my wrist. But this does not mean that the distance between us has increased.
I leaned back to avoid Sertin, who was getting closer and closer. Cerdin's shadow leaned over me, who was practically lying on the sofa.
Sertin looked happy. He had the face of a winning person. His fingers touched my cheek.
His hands were hot.
“…Cirtin.”
I called out to him, but he didn't say anything. She held on to Sertain's shoulder tightly. The thin shirt was wrinkled under my palm.
This way... it feels like... like we're about to kiss.
I tried to avoid his eyes, but he caught me. There wasn't much force in his grip on my chin, and yet I couldn't move my head away. Sirtain whispered softly.
“Don't be afraid. Because that... makes me want to eat you.”
“What does that mean?”
I asked him feeling like I was about to cry.
“I mean I'm happy.”
But it didn't seem that way at all.
But what really bothers me is that I felt relieved by his reaction. He doesn't look angry at all
Instead, his face brightened with a smile.
I suddenly felt emotional. Maybe it was a feeling of relief.
Sertin doesn't hate me.
It didn't look like it was going to kill me.
He didn't seem like he was going to let me die.
If he had intended to, he would not have saved me from Duke Spelman.
“Ah…”
I made a crying sound without knowing it. I was even surprised by the tears that suddenly fell.
“Are you crying?”
Sertin rubbed my cheek with his finger.
“I'm the one who should be crying.”
“I..I...I'm usually not someone who cries that easily...”
How unfortunate. Whether I was playing the role of a fool before, or even now, I still feel weak, like a miserable, worthless child in front of two stories.
Sertin lowered his head and kissed my forehead gently. His lips were so warm.
“You don't cry because you want to cry…”
Sirtain touched my cheek as if it didn't matter. But, what on earth does this mean?
Why are the hands that were caressing my hair at dawn last day so warm?
Why was the voice that whispered that it was okay, as if I didn't have to say anything, so sweet?
Sertin, what exactly are you giving me?
“Why…?”
I dug my fingers into his shoulders, and my voice trembled slightly.
“Why… are you doing this?”
Sertain wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumb.
"Why are you being so nice to me? What's okay?"
My vision brightened and blurred over and over again.
"I'm not okay at all. Aren't you going to kick me out? Aren't you...kill me?"
I spoke out of breath, all the words that were stuck in my chest suddenly spilling out. Once I started saying what I was hiding, I couldn't stop.
“Do you suspect that I am a spy for Duke Spellman? Do you really think that I am that kind of person? Do you think that I, or my parents, are that good to you? Has all the effort I have put in so far been in vain?”
Sertin listened to me without saying anything. The fingers rubbing my eyes were hot.
“Stop crying.”
"Tell me. You told me to stop acting. You already know everything. Don't you?"
At that moment, Sertin kissed my eyelids. It was hot, like it was burning me. She stared at Sertine expressionlessly.
It was something I never thought about.
Why are you...?
The questions for which I had no answers were piling up
“Why on earth…?”
“I won't kill you, I won't kill you.”
He muttered in a voice that seemed to have lost some of its strength.
Sertin muttered, his voice a little shaky and weak.
Sertin's body collapsed on top of me. A heavy weight pressed down on me. Our bodies were intertwined. I felt as if my tears were starting to dry.
"I've killed a lot of people already. What's the point of killing someone else? What have you done for me to want to kill you?"
His voice was unusually weak. I felt his breath tickling my neck.
“I know how hard you work.”
Sirtain muttered.
“Evelin, you…..I know you’re on my side.”
I felt the strength leave my body at those words.
Did you know? Did you know that I stood by your side?
You won't kill me...?
I found comfort in those words.
Sirtain, who was still holding me, relaxed his shoulders.
The hem of his shirt, which was tangled around my fingers, came undone.
“I know you protected me. And I know you protected my family.”
You really...know everything.
I thought it was frustrating. I always thought that no one would notice my actions, and that I would die if I was exposed. I thought there was no one I could tell the truth to.
I felt like my chest was tightly closed.
But, even without me telling him, Certin knew everything.
My eyes filled with tears again.
This is exactly what I wanted.
My attempts at better than not dying have reached two lives.
I closed my eyes tightly.
Tears gathered in my eyes and fell to the ground.
“I told you not to cry, but you're crying again.”
Even though he was acting cold the whole time, Serten seemed… strange. Tonight was a really strange night.
I closed my eyes and followed two steps.
When I opened my eyes, I was alone. It seemed like what happened last night was all a lie. I was lying quietly on the bed.
“I won't kill you.”
“I know you were trying to protect me.”
“What gain will I gain from killing you?”
Cyrtain's whispers seemed to still echo in my ears. She blinked slowly.
I felt like my fingers were shaking.
“What is this…is this really the end?”
Ha. I fell asleep in this position. Certain was the first to fall asleep.
Only then did I realize. He looked particularly weak because he was really tired.
I felt sorry for Sirtain, who was curled up on the sofa on top of me, but I couldn't wake him up.
His face looked so peaceful. So I fell asleep staring at his face.
Sertin's hug was warm, and I felt relieved that the anxiety that had weighed on me for so long had dissipated.
But still…
How could he sleep like that?
This doesn't make sense. There is a lot to solve! Did it really end like this?
Now that you know, what will you do next? What do you want me to do? Are you getting a divorce?
Shouldn't we be talking about that? Why do I think this way and he doesn't?
“I'm going crazy...”
I held my head tightly.
She grabbed my head. I thought yesterday was just a dream, but then I saw the pillows rolled off the couch.
The vase and the glass candy box that Sertin had so cruelly pushed aside to make room for him were still there.
Certin was not here, but traces of him are still there.
“So, it's not a dream.”
I sighed.
If Sertin were in front of me right now, I would grab him by the collar and question him.
What's going on in his handsome little head?
I wanted to open his skull to find out!
Moreover, what happened yesterday...
The sound of his breath on the back of my neck.
The hand that touched my eyes.
The heat of his body that covered mine.
That handsome face that stuck to me and fell asleep...
Oh, I'm going crazy
I messed with my hair forcefully.
Don't think this way. No.. stop!
Why do I keep thinking this way?
Is this really the time for me to think about this?
It was at that moment...
“Your Highness, I will come in.”
It was different from Rosalina, Serena and Rosie who were breaking in without permission.
Julia's gentle voice brought me back to reality.
I coughed a little and gently slapped my cheeks.
I quickly tried to tidy up my messy hair, then ran to the door. I grabbed the handle and opened it wide.
“Julia!”
“Oh my God, Your Highness, you're already awake. You didn't eat dinner last night and went straight to sleep, so...”
And at that moment…
Grrrrrrr
My stomach rumbled like thunder. I swallowed hard. I was thinking about this for a long time……
Isn't this really bad timing? Why does this always happen to me?
“...I woke up because I was hungry...”
Julia smiled sweetly.
“I expected that, so I prepared some snacks for you. Would you like to eat them now?”
"Okay."
What can I do now? I just nodded?
I can't live with this embarrassment, really!