Chapter 36: Cry Alone, Soothe Alone
At the sudden proposal, Kishin looked as if he had frozen.
Classie quickly added in a hurry.
“No, what I meant was—uh—it’s not anything weird. I just need an excuse to refuse my second sister’s request.”
“Do you really need an excuse?”
“If I say I don’t want to go because I don’t want to be apart from a man I like, my family will think poorly of me.”
Classie tried her best to explain, but Kishin still seemed not to understand.
“Sir Kishin, you know how things work in our country. If my family, especially my parents, think ill of me, it’ll cause me problems in many ways. My reputation in society will suffer, I won’t get help when I need it, I’ll be rejected when I need guarantees, and later on—”
Classie trailed off when she noticed that the more she spoke, the stranger Kishin’s expression became.
His reaction made her feel like she was being materialistic.
But really, isn’t this just how people live in the real world?
‘Maybe this man has the talent of living completely detached from reality.’
Classie waited for Kishin to say something, but as he continued to look bewildered in silence, she eventually spoke again.
“Anyway, if I say I have someone I’m discussing marriage with, my second sister will understand why I can’t go. She won’t like it, but she’ll get it. That’s what I meant.”
Only then did Kishin seem to understand and confirm.
“So you’re suggesting a fake excuse?”
At that moment, Classie suddenly felt a wave of sadness for no reason.
‘That’s not it.’
Classie truly wanted to marry Kishin. She didn’t want a fake excuse—she wanted to skip all the steps and rush into a real marriage.
At that moment, images of herself being dragged off unwillingly by her second sister, the hardship she’d endured two years ago, the ongoing torment from Merran over the years, the unjust rumors from those who didn’t know the truth, and her guilt toward her eldest sister all surged up at once—until tears welled up in her eyes.
Just a moment ago, Classie had been speaking calmly, but when one tear slipped down her cheek, Kishin looked visibly flustered.
“Miss Classie? Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no. I’m just… overwhelmed with emotion.”
“Suddenly?”
“Suddenly.”
Classie quickly wiped her tears and gave an awkward smile.
She knew herself that this wasn’t something to cry about. She and Kishin had only just begun to develop feelings for each other.
They weren’t even officially dating, so it was only natural for Kishin not to accept such a sudden proposal.
Besides, Kishin wasn’t unaware of the false rumors and her long-standing struggles with Merran.
And yet, emotions and tears were strange things. She had held it together—until that one tear ruined all her effort.
Even though she forced a smile, tears began to fall one after another.
Classie felt more embarrassed than sad. But once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop.
‘What a mess I’ve become!’
Unable to bear the awkward look on Kishin’s face, Classie rushed out into the hallway.
As soon as she opened the hallway door, she came face-to-face with Anna, who had a stunned expression.
Anna was holding a plate of cake and, upon making eye contact with Classie, hurriedly shook her head.
It seemed she had overheard part of the conversation and was trying to signal something, but Classie couldn’t understand what Anna was trying to say.
All she felt was shame and sorrow, so Classie ran past Anna and down the hallway.
“Miss Classie!”
Kishin’s voice called from behind, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop.
* * *
Kishin was about to chase after Classie but stopped when he came face-to-face with Anna.
The maid, who had secretly overheard their conversation, turned bright red and apologized.
“I’m sorry, Sir Kishin. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was going to enter the room, but the two of you were having such a serious conversation that I couldn’t go in.”
Kishin was annoyed that the maid had listened in on their conversation. But more than that, something else was bothering him.
Instead of scolding Anna, he pointed with his eyes in the direction Classie had run and asked,
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, sir. You didn’t say anything offensive.”
“Then why did Miss Classie suddenly cry?”
“Well…”
Kishin thought the older maid seemed to know something. The way she nervously looked around, hesitating, made it seem like she was debating whether or not she should speak.
If this were the guard post, the more someone hesitated, the more Kishin would have pressed them for answers.
But this was Classie’s home, and the one before him was an elderly maid.
Older servants usually stayed with a household for a long time. That meant this maid had likely known Classie for years.
Seeing the maid opening and closing her mouth without speaking, Kishin raised his hand and said,
“No. If it’s hard to say, don’t say it. I don’t want to make things harder for Miss Classie. I’ll ask her myself.”
With that, Kishin turned and walked in the direction Classie had run.
* * *
Anna stared blankly at his retreating figure for a moment.
Kishin’s attitude—refusing to hear something that would be hard for someone else to relay—left a strong impression on her.
Anna was genuinely impressed.
“So our young lady didn’t fall for him just because of his looks. He’s got a good character too!”
Truthfully, Anna hadn’t liked Kishin all that much before.
His first impression wasn’t great, and she believed that the rift between Merran and Classie had happened because of him.
She also worried about how emotionally swayed Classie became by the letters and bouquets Kishin sent her.
But most of all, what concerned her was how perfect Kishin’s circumstances were.
With such great qualifications and outstanding looks, his parents were surely proud and picky.
Would such parents allow him to marry someone like Classie, who had nasty rumors attached to her? Anna didn’t think so.
Even her biological parents—the Count and Countess of Kalashi—had given up on arranging Classie’s marriage.
‘How unfortunate.’
Anna shook her head and set the cake plate down on the parlor table.
* * *
Classie had no idea what had happened in the short time she’d run off.
But it wasn’t long before she stopped running on her own.
‘I’m done crying.’
The sudden burst of emotion faded on its own just five minutes later.
Classie held her forehead and sighed. It had only been five minutes of tears, so why had she lost control like that?
‘Sir Kishin must think I’m strange.’
She lightly banged her head against the wall a few times, then, unable to hold back, turned and started running back the way she came.
Before long, she ran into Kishin.
He looked confused to see Classie, who had run off, now running back on her own two feet.
“Miss Classie, are you alright?”
Classie covered it up with a lie.
“Sorry for scaring you. I felt embarrassed, thinking you rejected me.”
“I did not reject you.”
“But you were flustered when I proposed.”
“It was just… too sudden.”
“Then that is a rejection…”
Classie muttered gloomily. How did things get so messed up?
She hadn’t planned to propose today either. She wanted to wait at least a month before doing so.
She wanted to wait until they were close enough that, even if he heard the bad rumors about her, he’d trust her over the gossip.
But now, during this critical time when they were just starting to grow closer, they were about to be separated for three whole months. And when Kishin had asked her not to leave, he’d even pointed out the same flaws in her second sister’s behavior that had always upset Classie.
All those events suddenly meshed together into a single surge, and she’d blurted it out on impulse.
She regretted it—deeply—but the words were already out and couldn’t be taken back.
Kishin looked around and then suggested,
“This is too out in the open. Let’s talk somewhere else.”
The two of them went into a nearby guest room.
Since Classie, the owner of the house, didn’t use it, the room was always empty. But it was furnished with basic pieces.
As soon as they entered, Classie walked up to a slightly dusty chair and leaned her arm on its back.
She felt suffocated. Though she had followed Kishin here at his suggestion, she had nothing more to say.
The joy she felt upon seeing him had already faded. After all the tears earlier, most of her emotions had settled down.
Still, Classie gathered her courage and asked,
“What is it you wanted to talk about?”
“I still don’t quite understand.”
“I told you everything.”
“No, Miss Classie. You suddenly proposed, then ran off saying you were overwhelmed with emotion. And now you say you fled because you were embarrassed after being rejected. None of that is an actual explanation.”
“Overwhelmed with emotion. Embarrassed. That is the explanation.”
“No. Why did you suddenly propose? Let’s start with that.”
A vein twitched on Classie’s forehead.
“Are you interrogating me right now?”
“I don’t understand, so I’m trying to.”
“If you don’t understand, then just leave it at that. Why go so far as to interrogate me?”
“Because I like you, Miss Classie. That’s why I want to figure you out.”
“!”
Classie thought he could have chosen a better word than “figure out.” But she remained silent, mouth slightly open.
Still, Kishin looked utterly sincere. He genuinely seemed to be trying to follow her emotional rollercoaster—even when it was too much for her to handle herself.
That earnest demeanor, so noble and composed, stirred something in Classie’s heart that had grown cold and numb with tears.
After hesitating, she finally confessed,
“Actually… this is about money.”
“!”
* * *