After finishing her sentence, Eileen bit the inside of her cheek, realizing she had spoken impulsively in assuming Cesare's intentions. Now she feared she had been too presumptuous.
Unable to look him in the eye, she looked away and nervously assessed his reaction. Trying to gently release the hand she was holding, she was surprised when Cesare squeezed her wrist again.
His grip was firm and somewhat rough. Startled, Eileen flinched, causing the man to quickly loosen his grip. Although his strength had diminished considerably, he did not let go.
For a while, they stood there, holding hands. Soft droplets of water began to touch Eileen's cheek. The drizzle gradually intensified, and soon the rain filled the air. The sky, cloudy all day, had begun to rain again.
Fortunately, it wasn't the torrential downpour of the previous day. The rain fell gently through the leaves, wetting Cesare and Eileen little by little.
Despite this, neither of them suggested returning to the mansion. They simply remained there, under the orange tree.
After a while, Cesare let out a low sigh and released Eileen's hand. He picked up a handkerchief and handed it to her before taking off his uniform coat and covering his head.
Now sheltered by the large coat, Eileen looked at the man as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.
Go inside.
Eileen shook her head. "I want to stay by your side, Cesare."
He pointed to the marks on his neck and asked:
Even after what happened?
- Yes.
When Eileen showed no intention of backing down, Cesare suppressed a bitter laugh.
I'm just going to smoke.
He adjusted his coat over her delicate shoulders, making it clear that she didn't need to stay and endure the smell of smoke.
Clutching her coat and scarf tightly, Eileen asked:
Even so, can I stay by your side?
— …
I want to see you smoke.
From a young age, Eileen enjoyed observing plants, meticulously examining and recording every detail. But, in truth, there was something she found even more fascinating than plants.
It was Caesar.
From the day she met him, Cesare became the most intriguing subject in her world. Every time she saw him, Eileen carefully documented new observations about him in her diary.
She wanted to learn more about the facets of this man that were still unknown to her. Today, she was particularly interested in understanding the strangeness she felt when she saw him smoking.
But beyond curiosity, there was a more urgent feeling.
'I don't want to leave him alone.'
Both yesterday and today, Cesare seemed to be on the edge of an abyss, as if he were holding a blade to his own throat. The idea of protecting a man who seemed so fearless was absurd, so Eileen kept her feelings to herself. But at that moment, she was determined to stay by his side.
'He keeps saying strange things…'
Cesare wasn't the type to be disturbed by something as trivial as a dream, which only deepened his worry. The fact that he had killed her in his dream didn't matter much; after all, he had already decided to give his life for him in reality. How many times he died in a dream was irrelevant.
Eileen wanted to share her thoughts, but she was afraid of being reprimanded, so she remained silent, simply waiting for a response.
When she showed no intention of going inside and merely stared at him, Cesare frowned. He pulled her closer, shielding her from the rain, and then took out a fresh cigarette. As he lit it, he muttered:
"It's all my fault. " The cigarette glowed with a reddish-orange flame as it lit. Holding it between his fingers, he continued, "I should have taught you to be careful with me."
The man's eyes narrowed as he watched her. Eileen mentally countered his observation, thinking it wouldn't have worked even if he had taught her. However, she kept that thought to herself.
He smoked silently while Eileen stood calmly beside him. The rhythmic sound of rain pattering on leaves filled the quiet space.
His black hair, damp from the rain, clung to his skin. With his gaze lowered, Cesare smoked with an indifferent expression, occasionally turning his face to blow out the smoke.
Each time the man exhaled, Eileen wrinkled her nose at the strong smell. It was harsh, but it was Cesare, so it seemed bearable. When Ornella smoked, Eileen found it unpleasant, but now, with him, it seemed different.
As she watched him smoke under the orange tree in the rain, she heard herself ask without thinking:
Can I try as well?
Cesare let out a low, incredulous laugh.
What, you want to try everything I do?
That's not it, but…
She expected him to refuse immediately, but, to her surprise, he didn't. Instead, he placed the cigarette he was smoking between his small lips.
Eileen blinked in astonishment, feeling the cigarette now resting in her mouth. Without any further instruction, she instinctively took a drag, and immediately broke into a violent coughing fit.
The harsh smoke made her eyes water, and her face flushed as she struggled to catch her breath. Cesare quickly stubbed out his cigarette in an ashtray and retrieved the handkerchief he had given her, gently wiping her mouth as she continued to cough.
"Now you know what it's like. You don't want to repeat it, do you? " he said provocatively.
Despite his playful words, Eileen understood the underlying message. It seemed he was trying to warn her that not everything he did was for her.
Cesare made no attempt to hide his intentions. He made everything clear enough that even someone as naive as Eileen could understand.
Eileen looked at him with teary eyes; the man stared at her in silence. Their gazes remained fixed for a long time, and at that moment, Eileen realized how completely surrounded she was by him—his clothes, the cigarette smoke, even the marks he had left on her neck. Everything enveloped her.
Wrapped in her large coat, protected from the rain, Eileen parted her lips.
— Cesare… —Under the intensity of his crimson gaze, he whispered in a trembling voice: — I know I'm not trustworthy, but I'll do my best. So…
A slight pain throbbed in her throat. Eileen swallowed, ignoring the discomfort, and continued:
If there's anything, anything at all, that I can do to help, please tell me.
She wished she could bear his suffering in his place. With this desperate hope, she looked at Cesare almost pleadingly.
Even in the darkness, his crimson eyes shone intensely, an unnatural light that seemed almost inhuman, like a spear piercing her heart. Eileen held her breath, waiting for his answer.
Eventually, Cesare gave a slight smile. He pulled off the coat covering her, letting it fall to the wet ground with a soft thud. Unconcerned about the mud staining the fabric, he gently cupped Eileen's cheeks in his hands.
The man leaned down and silently kissed her. In the rain, under the orange tree, their lips met. Eileen closed her eyes and returned the kiss.
After a few tender moments, Cesare slowly pulled away. He licked his wet lips and gazed at her with unwavering intensity.
Soaked by the rain, the man exuded a seductive danger. His red irises seemed even more vivid, shining like burning flames.
"For you to start being cautious with me, " he said, narrowing his eyes briefly, "I'll have to try very hard."
To be continued…