# 26
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But if she said she wanted to have a baby, this man would make fun of her even more and not give her what she wanted.
“Please, just... let's do things as they were...”
“Ah, as it were.”
Kenneth scolded her in a calm, normal voice.
“You said you would find joy even in such things.”
“Ah...”
“So I cooperate with you as you wish.”
After that, she felt as if her body had become a musical instrument skillfully played in his hands.
She raised her head involuntarily.
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks.
Sweet moments that she did not want to remember violently penetrated her mind.
The child. Beatrice, Baby. That night I got pregnant.
After he hugged her gently, she had a false hope that they might be able to open up to each other.
A belief that their tangled and complex relationship might improve perhaps.
If he had kissed her, she might have held onto that belief again.
But the voice of the man who led her to the bed was very calm.
“How do you intend to continue if you are already like this?”
“Oh...”
“We still have a lot of night ahead of us.”
The oil lamp traced a circle resembling sunset light in the dark room.
His lips were smiling, but his blue eyes, sparkling with the reflection of light, bore no hint of tender emotion.
Ariana thought with her half-remaining mind:
'What does this mean for him?'
For this man who does not want an heir from her, does not love her, and can at any moment pull the rope around her neck with death and guilt.
Is it just fun that he doesn't need to bear responsibility for?
'Because he can get rid of me and replace me with a 'suitable' woman whenever he wants?'
When she thought of this, the pain that almost squeezed her heart subsided.
Ariana honestly felt relieved.
'How wonderful it would be to not repeat that foolishness twice.'
She almost returned to clinging to hope as in the past.
She was so grateful that he crushed that hope with his gaze.
It was good that he gave her a reason not to love him.
She closed her eyes.
* * *
Kenneth looked at the woman in his arms calmly.
Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes sparkled blue, constantly attracting his eyes.
After falling into the water, Ariana looked like a mermaid.
Beautiful, vulnerable, and sensual as she was when they first met.
«Kenneth, please»
When she called him by name once, he suddenly stopped feeling upset.
Instead, a feeling of joy swept through his mind, and he did things he wouldn't normally do.
'I'm not fully conscious.'
This wasn't the first time. Recently, their relationship has become turbulent.
His hands tightened on Ariana's waist.
He didn't want to indulge in it just to solve his carnal desires.
Even if their physical coupling was acceptable, he hated the extra feelings that seeped into him involuntarily.
The laxity that comes with inactivity.
The pity that penetrates his lungs when he sees her face...
And the weakness that creeps into him with a desire to move on from the past.
To prevent these things from sticking to his heart, he always kept physical relations to a minimum.
“My lord the duke...”
Ariana whispered, holding his shoulder.
His head went dark because of her sobbing little voice.
She was amazing, as if the first period after their marriage was all a lie.
'Have you finally woken up and forgotten about that bastard?'
They haven't found that man Ariana truly loves yet.
Andrew Claude.
'How great is your faith to accept reality now.'
He intended to jeer out loud, but he was persistently busy making her cry even more.
“Sir Duke, please.”
Ariana whispered hoary, but he rejected her hand that was holding on to him.
When she started shaking her head violently, he hugged her tightly.
'So this is how you act when you reach your limits.'
Kenneth buried his face in her neck.
He no longer believes in love, nor in beautiful words.
What he believed in were words of blame, expressions of hatred, and attitudes of fear.
Only what a person reveals when pushed to his limits.
Now, after seeing this appearance, he felt reassured that Ariana was still in his grasp.
'So, I should be the one to get rid of her.'
He closed his eyes.
This relationship will end one day, burned to black ash.
But in the end, nothing bad will come of it.
Because he took the medicine before he hugged Ariana.
Always before the relationship days.
'A child carrying the blood of a family that destroyed my father's life.'
Such a thing is not a blessing, but rather an accident of negligence in itf.
* * *
…Ariana dreamed of her days as the fiancée of the Imperial Prince.
The first attempt to violate her before the engagement party was not the last.
He would pretend to others that he cared a lot about his fiancée, but in reality, he was treating Ariana like something to be exploited.
Her mother and older brother knew how much she hated being alone with the prince, but they never helped her.
But Ariana herf resisted until the end.
One day, she couldn't take it anymore, so she hit Andrew in the face with the intent of death.
"Ha...you're tougher than you look. Do you think you're a climber because I said you're beautiful?"
Even after he was beaten, Andrew approached, smiling disgustingly.
"Anyway, you should marry me, right, Ariana? Let's do these silly things."
“True. But not like this, Your Highness.”
Ariana was cornered in a corner, clutching a dagger and trembling.
Although her hand was shaking ugly, there was no hesitation in her voice. Even a daily chased mouse can bite if pushed into a corner.
Andrew noticed this, and his face tightened.
“Oh...”
“If I were to be treated without respect, I would rather die.”
“Ha...”
“Can you bear everyone talking about why your fiancée died?”
Andrew looked at Ariana with a look that said she could do anything, but he didn't get any closer. She showed him with her whole body how far she could go if she was driven to despair.
But until the last moment he made fun of her horribly.
"Ariana Aberdeen. Do you think Kenneth is still alive?"
“Do you think he will come to your rescue if you hold on like this?”
“This...”
"Haha! You're not waiting for a fairy-tale prince to save you."
Ariana's face flushed with shame. The comparison was harsh, but it was the truth.
'They didn't find Kenneth's body.'
Until the body was found, she could not give up her belief that he was alive.
Even in the days when she saw the ducal palace closed and the family's money plundered, she continued to believe.
'He's alive.'
That night at the opera, she wanted to confess the love she had carried for so long.
She had never expressed her feelings, and she wanted to say them even once...
But if you're alive, why don't you call me? If you wanted, you could have found a secret way.
Ariana knew the answer deep down, but hearing it from Andrew's mouth made it even crueler.
“Ha, if that bastard were alive, do you think he would forgive you? Everyone in this world knows that his life was ruined because of you!”
The little hand holding the dagger trembled. Then the weapon fell from her weak hand.
“My fiancée has a very beautiful face.”
Andrew laughed, patting her cheek.
She felt a shiver, as if an insect was crawling on her face.
"But her mind is completely blank. That's how fair things seem sometimes."
“So, even if Kenneth Clifford is miraculously alive, give up hope of him saving you.”
The monster imposed reality on her harshly every time, but Ariana did not give up that hope.
'I was so hoping you were alive.'
She believed that everything would end with a miracle.
She thought that asking for forgiveness, giving it, and expressing her feelings would all be possible.
But when Ariana opened her eyes in this life, the sunlight filtering through the circular window illuminated the empty place next to her.