Eileen hesitated, unsure whether she should mention Lucio's statement. It seemed unnecessary to talk about such ancient events, especially from such a distant past.
Since the soldier who escorted them had probably already reported everything to Cesare, she feared that mentioning the matter would sound boastful. The situation itself seemed strangely surreal.
Receiving a declaration of love was probably a once-in-a-lifetime event. She always saw herself objectively, and despite the slight change in her appearance after taking off her glasses, her melancholy and lack of sparkle remained unchanged. It seemed impossible that anyone could find her attractive.
Lost in these insignificant thoughts, Eileen realized too late that she still hadn't answered Cesare's question. She decided to omit the confession and share only neutral information.
"Mr. Lucio might become a professor at the School of Pharmacy. He seems like a strong candidate. He's been publishing articles consistently and has changed a lot, both physically and mentally, while I've been away. It's truly impressive—"
Her words ceased when Cesare's kiss interrupted her. The gentle pressure of his lips overwhelmed her senses. The hands that traced her spine and firmly gripped her waist prolonged the kiss longer than she had anticipated.
When the kiss finally ended, Eileen let out an excited sigh, her cheeks flushed. She touched them with the back of her hand, trying to cool them. Her lips, slightly swollen, parted slightly as she met Cesare's gaze.
"I wanted to kiss you ," Cesare murmured softly.
Eileen, her lips still moist, replied:
— … You've already kissed.
— Hmm, yes, I kissed him.
Cesare's smile was gentle as he placed another kiss on her lips, a soft, quick touch. Eileen swallowed an involuntary moan, her heart pounding uncontrollably despite her embarrassment.
Enveloped in the man's embrace, her hands moved as she murmured:
Anyway, we didn't talk about anything important…
Cesare didn't respond with words. Instead, he kissed her neck gently, his lips lightly brushing against her skin as he continued to remove her dress.
Eileen shivered as the cold air touched her bare skin. After her recent encounters with old acquaintances, being so close to Cesare now seemed almost surreal.
Oblivious to reality, she looked at him. His vivid red eyes seemed to completely absorb hers. Gradually, his expression softened. His large hand rested gently on her head, and the caress of his fingers enveloped her in a calm and comforting sensation.
As she was enveloped by his touch, Eileen's mind wandered to the past—to the moment when she had returned to the estate, abandoning her studies.
She had received a letter from her mother and, overcome by a sudden sense of urgency, returned to the brick house with its orange trees swaying in the wind. Standing outside, she hesitated, unable to force herself to go inside.
The rustling of leaves in the wind was the only sound she heard before finally gathering the courage to open the door. A deep sense of melancholy washed over her as she stepped inside.
“Lily…”
The mother's voice, heavy with sadness, echoed through the dark house. The extinguished lights cast everything into shadows, and eyes red from fatigue and crying stared at Eileen with bitter intensity.
Eileen put her bag down and approached. With a cautious hug, she tried to comfort her, but her mother, as if she had been waiting for this moment, unleashed a torrent of pent-up emotions.
Eileen was overwhelmed by her mother's outburst of resentment and despair. She cursed Eileen's father, lamented his terrible situation, and declared that without her daughter's support, she would have already succumbed to despair. The academic freedom she had once enjoyed at university now seemed a distant dream in the face of the harsh reality she faced.
As her mother's grief overflowed, Eileen hugged her tighter, hoping to offer some relief. However, instead of being comforted, Eileen felt as if her own warmth was being drained, leaving her colder and more alone.
Taking on the responsibilities, Eileen began the arduous task of negotiating the payment of the debts. She visited creditors and tried to postpone deadlines—something her mother, with the pride of Baroness Elrod and former nanny to the prince, had never been able to do.
Eileen sold everything of value, including her precious collection of books and academic texts from the university, except for Cesare's gifts. Despite all her efforts, she still lacked money. The debt was overwhelming, and although the temptation to give in to despair was strong, she fought to push such thoughts away.
Returning to the family estate, however, did not bring only disadvantages. It allowed her to reunite with Cesare, filling a void that neither her studies nor new relationships had managed to fill. Upon seeing him again at the palace, she felt a profound sense of fulfillment that she had so longed for.
“Your Grace,” Eileen murmured, looking at Cesare, who had become even more imposing since their last encounter. The respect and admiration that the man inspired as a god of war suited him perfectly.
As she looked at him, Eileen realized that her feelings had evolved. From their first meeting until now, her admiration for Cesare had deepened into something much more intense.
Eileen longed to hold Cesare's hand, kiss his cheek, and be the one who received his tender gaze. Yet, she knew this desire was painful and disheartening, for she believed it was something that would never come true. To Cesare, she seemed nothing more than a child, not a woman worthy of his affection.
Controlling her racing heart became a difficult struggle in the face of the reality of her situation. Cesare's casual comment brought her back to the present.
"You've finally returned to the palace."
Fifteen days had passed since her return, due to the time spent resolving family issues. Eileen's face flushed deeply as she apologized.
"I'm sorry…"
Her lateness wasn't solely due to family issues; she had hesitated to confront Cesare out of shame. Despite his support in helping her get into university, she had returned without achieving anything significant. She felt ashamed for not meeting his expectations.
His situation has worsened since he left for university, making it even more difficult to feel confident in his presence.
“Have you grown a little?” Cesare asked casually, placing his hand lightly on his head. The familiar gesture now seemed strange, given the changes in his feelings.
Cesare sensed the tension in the air as he watched her reaction and smiled. Instead of withdrawing his hand, he began to gently stroke her head. Eileen found herself completely captivated by his affectionate touch.
"Have you lost interest in me?" Cesare asked, in a slightly playful tone.
Eileen, surprised, immediately denied it:
No, absolutely not!
Cesare's brow furrowed slightly, his eyes fixed on her as he continued to observe her.
"Then?"
"It's just... it's been a long time since we last saw each other..."
His attempt to explain his emotions came out awkward, and Cesare tilted his head slightly, his expression softening. With a whisper that sounded both a plea and a command, he said:
"Don't avoid me, Eileen."
(Elisa: Webtoon also made by me available on Nocturne)
To be continued…