The heavy rain beat against the window. The sound of the water running through the thick curtains woke Eileen from her sleep.
As soon as she opened her eyes, she was startled and quickly turned her head to the side. A man was sleeping soundly beside her, completely oblivious to the world. Seeing him so fast asleep dispelled the fog from her mind.
They were in a room on the second floor of a brick house. From the comfort he felt, it seemed as if he had cleaned his body and carried it to the room while he was unconscious.
The mere thought of who would have to clean the messy sofa made her blush. Eileen looked around, thinking that she should at least remove the fabric from the sofa.
The bed had originally been made just for Eileen, so it was too small to comfortably accommodate the two of them. They had to squeeze together to fit. Only then did Eileen realize she was lying on Cesare's arm.
His other arm was wrapped around her waist; she could feel the solid weight of his well-defined muscles. Eileen watched the man silently, listening to his calm, steady breathing mingled with the sound of the rain outside.
Suddenly, she remembered something Sonio had said during her training for the duties of an Archduchess: "Her Grace has hardly been sleeping lately."
The old butler's voice was full of concern, but he quickly changed the subject, probably not wanting to burden Eileen with something she couldn't handle.
Thinking about it now, Eileen realized that she rarely saw Cesare sleep so deeply. Despite sharing the same bed every night since their wedding, the man always woke up with almost no trace of sleep in his eyes. This was the first time she had heard his breathing so clearly, indicating a deep rest.
As she continued to watch him, her thoughts naturally drifted to the previous night. Among the hazy memories of those wild moments, one scene stood out.
" And you're only telling me this now? "
She couldn't stop thinking about the way he had smiled like a child, innocent and so defenseless. What had she said to make him react that way? The details were hazy, and even his smiling face seemed like an illusion from her memory.
'I should have paid more attention instead of getting distracted.'
She longed to capture his smile in her diary; her fingers itched to write. Since moving into the mansion, she hadn't had a chance to keep her diary updated.
For more than ten years, she meticulously documented their relationship. Sometimes she wondered if it wasn't a strange habit, but Cesare had read the diary anyway.
'If he didn't like it, he would have told me.'
Lost in thought as she studied his face, Eileen was startled when Cesare suddenly opened his eyes. She was about to greet him, but her breath caught in her throat.
The steady sound of rain filled the room, and crimson eyes locked onto hers.
Without saying a word, he stared at her with a vacant look that seemed unsettlingly strange. Eileen froze, overwhelmed by the unfamiliar intensity, then Cesare's lips curved into a soft smile.
Eileen…
His voice, slightly hoarse upon waking, carried a strangely seductive tone, similar to the low whispers he used during their intimate moments.
Cesare stood up slowly. Eileen, thinking he might be looking for water, tried to stand up as well.
But, in a swift movement, the man climbed on top of her. Eileen, who was about to sit up, fell back onto the bed, shocked. Her wide eyes, fixed on him, finally understood the source of the strange feeling she had had from the beginning.
Cesare's gaze was unsettling. Although his eyes were fixed on her, it didn't seem like he was truly seeing her. They appeared blurry, as if he were in a trance.
— Cesare…?
Hearing her name, the man slowly extended his hand. Eileen watched fearlessly, expecting him to stroke her hair or her face, as he always did. She longed for his familiar touch.
Instead, his hand closed around her throat.
— …!
Cesare's large hand tightened around her neck, instantly cutting off her breath. Eileen struggled, trying to break free, but it was useless against the strength of a man who had spent his entire life as a soldier.
She gasped, her lips parting in a desperate attempt to catch her breath, her grip remaining unyielding. The man then placed a soft, brief kiss on her face, light as a petal, and squeezed her neck even tighter. With his other hand, he gently pushed her hair aside.
'Why? Why is this happening?'
I couldn't comprehend it. Just a few hours ago, they were intertwined, sharing their love in the deepest way possible.
That Cesare, of all people, was strangling her was unbelievable. The hands that had always treated her with tenderness and care were now causing her pain. A weak, muffled sound escaped Eileen.
Everything's fine, Eileen.
Cesare's sorrowful voice was tender, gentler than ever, trying to calm her.
Shh, be a good girl. It won't hurt so much this time… It'll be over soon.
His low voice brushed against her ear. He kissed her trembling lips, desperate for air, and whispered softly:
- I love you.
Hearing those words, all his strength left his body. The arms that had struggled to push him away fell limply to his sides.
She knew there was no sincerity in those words. They were just sweet lies to make her docile and easier to kill.
But she didn't care. Eileen was no longer afraid.
'Cesare said he loves me.'
Hearing those words, perhaps it was only natural that he should have to pay for them with his life.
'There must be a reason why I have to die.'
If Cesare was killing her, then there was something she didn't understand. That didn't matter to Eileen.
From the beginning, her life belonged to him. It was his possession and his right to take it.
No longer able to resist, Eileen looked at the man, her vision darkening. She found strange comfort in knowing that the last thing she would see would be his smiling face.
He waited for death in silence, his consciousness slowly fading.
Suddenly, he remembered Marlena, who had once asked to "die beautifully ," wishing to be the most beautiful corpse in the capital.
At the time, Eileen didn't understand her, but now she knew exactly how she felt. For anyone who witnessed her final moments, she wished to die without appearing deplorable.
She gathered what little strength she had left to lift the corners of her lips in a gentle smile, trying to offer him one last serene expression.
— …
The sweet, smiling expression on the man's face suddenly hardened. He released her neck, and as air returned to her lungs, Eileen gasped violently.
— Haa! Huff, huff…!
Opening her mouth instinctively, breathing deeply and painfully, Eileen saw Cesare hurriedly get out of bed. He walked to a small table and picked up the box cutter used to open envelopes, and without hesitation, cut his own palm.
— Hmm— C-Cesare…!
The strong smell of blood filled the small room. Eileen, horrified by the sight of him hurting himself, tried to plead, though her voice was weak.
— Please… stop… your hand…
She spoke despite the pain in her throat, but Cesare, staring intently at her, cut himself again.
A second red line appeared on his palm, trembling slightly. Eileen let out a muffled cry, but it wasn't enough to stop him. Cesare continued cutting himself, repeatedly.
Blood trickled down his skin, dripping onto the floor and forming a growing puddle. Eileen struggled to her feet. Though she staggered as if she were about to faint, she walked over to him and wrapped him in her arms.
Her self-harm finally stopped. Hugging the man tightly, Eileen began to cry. She cried so much that she forgot the pain in her throat, finally finding her voice.
Please… please, stop… If you need to hurt someone… hurt me… please…
Trembling uncontrollably, she reached out to Cesare. The man's red eyes, which had never left her, moved slowly. He stared at the small, pale hand she offered, his breathing becoming unsteady.
— …Eileen. — The man's pained voice faltered. — It's you—
Cesare's eyes trembled as he asked softly:
— You are… my Eileen, right?
(Elisa: Oh my God, how am I going to explain this to you without giving spoilers? Please don't hate Cesare or think badly of him. There's a very sad reason behind his actions. I really wanted to tell you, but I can't spoil the moment when you find out everything.)
To be continued…